Running away from Reality

Liar

I look into the mirror and my ugly self smirks at me evilly. Under-eyes painted a darker shade. Chapped lips, dark brown mocking eyes and disheveled hair.

"Pathetic", she snickers.. "So.. so.. pathetic!" 

"I'll try harder next time.... I promise", the sentence comes out as a mumble, in a voice that I don't recognize.

"Lies" she laughes, throwing her head back. The walls echo. The air vibrates. 

LIES                    L  I  E  S                      LIESSSS 

YES I AM LYING.

I AM A LIAR. YES A LIAR. 

I LIE EVERYDAY. I SAY I AM NOT TRYING. I SAY I CAN DO IT WHEN I KNOW THAT I CANNOT. I SAY I AM CARELESS WHEN EVERY MOMENT I AM SO CAREFUL THAT MY CHEST TIGHTENS AND I CAN'T BREATHE. 

(at least pretending that i am not trying is better than accepting my incapability. my worthlessness.)

My knees give up. I crouch down against the walls which are echoing back profanities at me as they cave in. I rest my head on my knees as surroundings start to dissolve; eyes drifting to sleep as the moonlight and shadows dance together on the floor.