The Truth

The Surprise

I'm a fucking nervous wreck.

We are backstage, chilling before the show starts. I look around and I take it all in. All my band is here, of course. I say my band, though, but they became my family. They have seen me at my lowest and at my highest. They have witnessed fights and reconciliations, jealousy and undeniable trust. They have seen it almost all. They have supported me all these years, going around the world, holding me tight multiple times, knowing how close I've been to break. How I actually broke few years back and what it took for me to assemble myself back together.

I look at them again. Sarah and Mitch, how surprising it was, although not much. They met when they were put together with me, and they are going strong. Proper artist family, talented as fuck. Ny-Oh, she is such a badass woman. She's been doing great as solo and she fucking deserves it. Yaffra and Elin as well, always there for me, always cheering me up. And Pauli. I adore Pauli. He is super fun, and he was constantly pushing me to be better, messing with me and trying to see how I would react every time he would bring Z into the conversation. Even, back in March he played couple of times Pillowtalk on his lives, thinking I would be bothered and say something publicly, and I almost did, but I didn't break.

Just when I open my mouth to say something, I feel arms wrapping me from behind. Arms I would recognize eyes closed, hands roaming on the sides of my body and gentle kisses left in the nape of my neck. I feel myself smiling, how can I not? We paused our holidays for this gig, and he decided to tag along.

"Hey, babe" Z whispered to my ear, in that low raspy tone of voice that gets me melting immediately.

"Hey. Thought you wanted to chill for a while in the dressing room."

"There's no point of being there if you are here. It's too big, too empty."

"How romantic. Anyways, you know I love when we all spend time together."

"Always am, Styles. And yeah, babe I know, that's why I decided to come socialize. We always do, at least for a couple of hours."

"You're right."

"I felt you nervous, though. Are you scared of this gig?"

"No, no. I wouldn't call it scared, 's just I have so much on my head right now, y'know?"

"Everything will work out just fine, babe. I'll be here for you, as usual, yeah?"

"I know, I know. Jeff's not happy, y'know? He saw it coming, the end. Like, 'm finally done with the financial part of the contract, albums and tours are done too. There was no reason for me to stay with them anymore. If they had only been more open to be making more music of my liking perhaps I would've signed for a couple of albums more, but..."

"Hey, 's all good, babe. You did great, they helped a lot, but you ought to do you, what you love and if they weren't helping, is better to part ways. There is not a single management company that wouldn't kill to get you to sign with them, you know that, right?

"Yeah, baby, I know. I've chosen one though."

"Perfect. So go get this over with so we can go back to our vacation and endless fucking. I miss you already."

"Shuddup, perv. They are looking at us." I giggled when I remembered the guys were still in the room with us. Not like they hadn't seen us before, actually they are more than used to our PDAs, but we had a show in less than an hour and here Zayn was, getting me all worked up.

"Let them. I don't mind." Zayn replied, smug smirk in place. God, I love this jerk.

"No. Go away. I don't wanna pop a boner on stage thinking of what we could be doing if we weren't here. They'll laugh at me just like all other times before. Bloody hell, I blame you for them all, by the way." Fucks sake, it was the most embarrassing thing, popping a boner just for thinking of him.