"Kai, we can fix this. I'm so sorry." Amelia cried. She was following Kai towards the door in some unknown house.
"We can't fix it Amelia, you're just too broken. I cant deal with it anymore." Kai shouted at her, Amelia reached for their hand.
"It was just one drink, I wasn't going to swallow any of it!" Amelia yelled.
"Then what were you doing with it?" Kai said.
"I..."
"Exactly. I'm done Amelia. We're done. You make it impossible to love you any longer!" Kai pushed her off of them and ran out the door.
"Kai, no please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please give me another chance." Amelia's knees gave out, causing her to fall to the ground sobbing. She screamed and begged. They were gone.
Amelia sat up in a sweat, fighting to catch her breath. It was 6 AM. Kai had been up for some time, meaning they were up to witness their girlfriend in stress.
"Amelia, honey.. What's wrong?" Kai touched her shoulder and she shook them off.
She broke out crying, Kai reached for her hand, "Don't touch me!" She cried.
It wasn't rare that Amelia woke up from a bad dream here and there, but she was still in a state of such distress where they have never seen before.
"Amelia, It's me. Kai." Kai said calmly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." She apologized.
"Can I touch you?" They asked. She nodded her head, leaning into their touch. "What happened baby, what'd you dream about?"
She couldn't answer, she kept sniffling. Her cries weren't to an end yet no matter how many times she tried to stop it.
"I'm sorry." She muttered under her breath.
"Why are you sorry? There's no reason to be sorry." Kai said.
"I'm sorry that I'm hard to love. I'm sorry that I have issues." Amelia said. She avoided eye contact with them. She knew they'd talk her out of it. It was true.
"Hey, don't ever say that to me again. You're not hard to love. What makes you say such a thing?" Kai said.
"I'm not normal, I noticed that you don't drink in front of me. I stop you from having fun." Amelia said.
"Shepherd, I have a lot more fun with you sober than drinking for no reason. I don't care to drink, you're not stopping me from anything, okay?" Kai said.
"I had a dream that you left me because I had a drink." Amelia said quietly.
"That was just a dream, nothing could ever make me leave you. Ever. You're so strong and beautiful." Amelia smiled for just a second.
"I had an ex tell me that I was impossible to love." She told them, cringing at the thought of Owen.
"Tell me it wasn't Link because I swear if he-"
"It wasn't. It was Owen. It was years ago. It still sticks to me. He apologized. But words never really go away sometimes." Amelia interrupted them before they can say something they couldn't take back.
"It's not true" Kai sighed. They hated that she was in such pain that they couldn't just take away, Kai reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. "Can I tell you something?"
Amelia nodded.
"Around a year or two before we met I made it clear to myself that I would never get in another relationship. Just because all the people I've gone out with before weren't really interested in who I was. It only ever hurt in the end. I never had a relationship that lasted more than 2 months. I was convinced I wasn't set out for romance."
"Kai.." Amelia sat up to look at them.
"No, let me finish. So I made myself promise that I wouldn't let that happen again, that I wouldn't fall for someone again, no matter what. Then you walked into my lab and looked at me. You looked at me and I couldn't even remember my own name. From that point on whenever you were in my lab I couldn't focus. I remember Koracick mentioned your little family and I felt a pit in my stomach the entire day because I thought I had no chance with you. I knew I had already fallen for you, but it felt different than all the other times I'd fallen for someone. When we started going out and spending more time with each other I knew I loved you. But not in a falling in love way because that's messy and complicated, I slid into it. Like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Amelia, you're not hard to love and I'm sorry anyone made you feel that way in the past but I will spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you and how easy it was for me to do so."
Amelia had tears in her eyes. No one has ever said such a thing to her in the past. They hugged her tightly. They loved holding her in their arms even just for a few seconds.
Their hand played with her hair, twisting the ends around their finger. "Is it okay if I ask you something?" Kai asked.
"Sure," Amelia said.
"You said you had a drink in your dream, is that random or are you having cravings in real life?"
"I don't know, maybe a bit of both." Amelia shrugged.
"I want to know if you're having cravings so I can help you work through them." Kai said.
"It's not that I've had cravings recently. I've been thinking about how different my life would be right now if I didn't get sober back in L.A." Amelia opened up, "I wouldn't of gotten to know you. I wouldn't of had Scout. I would of been alone." Kai knew she started crying silently against their chest.
"But you did get sober. You tried so hard and you made it. You have me, you have Scout. We aren't going anywhere." Kai rubbed her back, letting her feel her emotions.
"Can I tell you something now?" Amelia asked hesitantly.
"You can tell me anything."
"When I was around 5 years old I was in my fathers store with my brother, Derek." Amelia pulled away from Kai, cracking her knuckles on her hands and smiling, "Our dad let us skip school that day to go to work with him, our mom had no idea. It was our secret. I remember two men came in, they wanted my fathers watch that my mom gave him. He refused to give it to them. I witnessed them shoot my dad that day. I was only a kid." Amelia said.
"Did they hurt you or Derek?"
"No... We were hiding behind the counter. Before I could scream Derek covered my mouth. We stayed there until the cops came. After that day nothing was the same anymore."
"I'm sorry Amelia, I had no idea that happened. I'm sorry you had to go through that, you don't deserve that." Kai kissed the top of her head.
"Can we go back to sleep?" Amelia asked, "We can finish talking later." Both of them were off work that day.
"Of course." Amelia laid on top of Kai. Unlike Amelia, Kai couldn't fall back asleep. Their mind was racing on everything Amelia had said.
They hoped that one day they could prove to her how amazing she was and how much good she deserved.
Around 10 AM Kai had gotten up to start some breakfast for the two. They didn't want to push her to talk, they wanted to make sure she was ok.
Amelia came out to the kitchen not too long after that. She didn't say a word, she just walked up to Kai with a smile.
"Something's up?" Kai smiled at her.
"I want you to have this." Amelia held out a watch in her hands. Kai looked down at her stunned.
"Amelia, I can't. That's something you should have." Kai said. They felt honored that she would even consider giving it to them.
"I want you to have it. I didn't get to know my dad that well, but I know he would of liked you Kai. He would of supported us." Amelia took their wrist and put the watch around it. "Besides, it looks more fitting on you than it does on me."
"Wow... Amelia. Thank you. I'll take good care of it, I promise." Kai smiled down at her, she got on her tip toes and pressed a light kiss to their lips.
"I love you,"
"I love you more, Shepherd."
