I can't love him

chapter 8

Zayns pov

"Dad if we have to eat so do you," y/n says playing with her food. I count every calorie i take. I need to lose weight if i wanna have Juliana around.

I am fat and that is how it is. I just start to eat a little and i grab a beer. Y/n mumbles something but i can't have it right now. "Y/n what did you say?" Juliana asks. "That maybe he should drink less and i now understand why his ex girlfriends left him!" She throws her things on the table and leaves. Niall goes after her.

When everyone left and the kids went to bed
Zayns pov

"Y/n was right. Not about the ex thing but about the eating," Juliana starts. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Well whenever we eat you just stare at the food and sometimes you don't even eat. What's wrong?" She asks. "I'm just not much of an eater," i say. "You promise that's all?" I nod and she smiles. She gives me a small kiss and she cuddles into me.

"Auw," she says. "You okay?" I ask worried. "They kicked," she says. "Hey keep your mommy in 1 peace please!" I say. Juliana begins to giggle. 

Y/ns pov

I am just laying bed. I scroll through my insta and see those beautiful models and i turn off my phone. I hear a knock and then Louis walks in. "Hey," he says. "Olla," i answer. "You okay?" he asks. 

"I'm worried about dad. He doesn't eat a lot and his drinking is bad. You can't tell me i am the only one who noticed," he smiles and comes next to me. "You're not. I have too and I am worried too. I am happy you're worried cus i than know you still love dad," he says.

"I always have loved dad, I hated the fact he send us to that stupid boarding school cus his stupid ex-girlfriends. Cus they hated us mostly me but they hated us," I say a bit angry. "She's just a whore," i say pissed. 

"Y/n! She isn't and she at least tries to understand us! I heard them talking! In the baby room before they told us we should go to an normal school. She wants to get to know us," he says. "Why would she? In her eyes we are just some stupid teenagers! We don't do anything good! Let's just face the facts Lou! She doesn't want us and is just pretending. Besides if you and harry do it next time be more quiet!" I tell him.

He doesn't respon for a little while. "How do you know?" He asks lighting up a cigarette. "Not in my room ass!" I tell him. He goes to the window. "If dad finds out he will murder you in cold blood louis!" I warn him. "Which one do you mean?" He asks. "Honesty? Both! I won't tell him cross my heart and hope to die but he will find out cus we will be living here!" I say.

"Maybe you and Juliana should go shopping!" I shake my head and pretend to throw up. "Cross! With that shit lady? No!" I say.