I can't love him

chapter 20

Y/ns pov

I feel like i can throw up again and so i do. "You are gonna do surgery," dad says. I shake my head scared. "No! I don't wanna do that!" I say even more scared. "Can i talk to her alone?" Juliana asks. Everyone leaves and i look at her scared.

"What if i am in surgery?" She asks. "No! I am not doing it!" She looks down. "I know you're scared but james is one of the best surgeons. We can get you an second opinion with anothter doctor," i shake my head.

"Why are you scared sweety?" She asks.  "What if it is going wrong?" I ask scared. I feel like i am gonna have a panic attack. "Then I'll be there every step to make it good," she says. "They promised me to safe ollie and they didn't," i feel hot tears running down my face.

"But they didn't have me," she says. "I want you to do the surgery!" She looks down. "I can't do the surgery but i can walk them through. Y/n you can have such a beautiful life go get it!" I smile and nod.

"Secondly. Who raped you y/n?" She asks and i go totally silence. "Look i know it wasn't Niall but who was?" She asks. "I i don't know," i lie.

If i tell the truth and noah finds out i am so dead. "Okay," she gets the others. "I will do the surgery but only and only if Juliana is there the whole time,"

Dad looks confused at first and then just smiles. "Okay. Tomorrow you'll have surgery but for now get some rest and only one person can stay," james says. "2 cus my boyfriend can stay too!" I protest. Dad looks even more confused now and also i little mad when everyone leaves except for him and Niall.

Niall comes next to me and i cuddle into him. "When did you become nice to my girlfriend?" Dad asks. "Since she doesn't always stick her nose in my business," i say with a little smile. "Okay. Since when did you 2 become something?" Dad asks. "I don't know," i say. I can't tell dad i cut myself.

Nialls pov

Y/n falls asleep and zayn turns to me. Oh god i am so dead. "Were you the one who fucking raped her?" He asks angry. "No sir. And believe me when i found out who did i will help you kill him," zayn smiles.

"Did something happen when i was gone?" He asks. "Y/n has an high IQ and now she's in louis class. And uh i know y/n will hate me now for forever cus i am telling you this. She cuts herself. We took away all the sharp stuff so she can't do it anymore," i see zayn trying to stay strong cus he is known for no emotions. That is why everyone is scared of him.

"It's okay zayn. I have seen you broken before," i say. He burst out crying and i hug him. "It is okay," i keep telling him but more myself i think. I miss the old y/n.