Kingdom [Namjin]

56

Numb

The first feeling that crept up to Namjoon after he reached Myeongseong was numbness. He felt empty. Like everything was suddenly taken away from him. His brain stopped working. It had stopped working a long time ago when the helicopter started to fly away from the burning guest house. He did register some of the things that people said. Like the King of Myeongseong said that his father was on his way here. Or someone pointed out that Bangchan was injured. Or when Yeonjun escorted him to the room.

As he sat on the bed with his eyes welling with tears, Seokjin's face flashed in front of his eyes. How he was smiling contently. The tears in his eyes, the white t-shirt seeping with blood, the sparkle in his eyes and his lips moving to say his last words. Seokjin specifically hated blood on his clothes and yet there was blood when he fell. One around his shoulder and the other on the waist, just above his kidney.

A shiver ran down his spine as he replayed everything that had happened. Him trying to jump after Seokjin, but Bangchan stopping him and dragging his ass back in the helicopter. Bangchan reporting to the headquarters.

Bangchan took out something from his pocket, "Alpha reporting. Mission successful. Blue Dragon secured." He closed his eyes so that the tears wouldn't fall from his eyes. He took a long broken breath, "Phantom compromised. He died like a hero. Requesting a team to search for the body. Over and out."

Namjoon also remembered how he lashed out at Bangchan.

Namjoon slowly got up and caught Bangchan with his collar, "He is not dead!" Namjoon yelled at him. His eyes finally started showing emotions. They were red with anger. But Bangchan could easily see sadness and frustration in them. He was surprised to see guilt in them too, "Do you hear me, he is not fucking dead! I will kill you if you say that again. Seokjin can't die like that. He can't die because of one shot. He is stronger than that!" His voice started getting lower as he completed the sentence. He left Bangchan's collar and fell on his knees, "He can't die like this. This is all my fault. It is all my fault." Namjoon started shaking vigorously as the tears started falling from his eyes, "All my fault." His breath hitched.

The thought that Bangchan might have been right hit him when he stepped out of the helicopter. But denial was stronger than his belief and he refused to agree that Seokjin might not return. He would never be able to see Seokjin again or even just feel his touch again. He didn't let his tears fall anymore. There was no meaning in crying anyway, right? Seokjin was alive so there was no need to cry. Crying would just mean that he accepted the news.

About three hours after that, the door opened. He looked up to find his father entering the room. Behind him was Prince Yeonjun. His eyes were red. He had been crying too. But more than that, Namjoon saw pity in his eyes. Pity for Namjoon. Namjoon looked at his father and bowed, "Abeoji." His voice was hoarse but he hadn't even been crying. His mind was just numb.

Yeonjun bowed to the king, "Your majesty, abeoji requested your presence in the court in about an hour."

Wonyoung nodded, "We will be there." Yeonjun bowed before leaving the father-son alone. Wonyoung sighed and turned to Namjoon, "Are you okay?"

Namjoon nodded. He turned his face to the other side and was ready for his father's questions and anger. He waited for a little but none of it came. When he turned around to look at his father, his father wasn't there. His father sat on the couch, silently, as if thinking something very seriously.

There was a knock after a while. The door opened letting Hoseok, Jungkook and Taehyung in the room. Hoseok went straight to Namjoon, "Nam-" He stopped himself. The king was there. "Your highness, are you alright? Are you hurt?"