The Culinary Massacre

Tea Sis

I wake up and Harry is gone. All of his clothes are gone and I semi wonder if I made the whole thing up. I feel good but exhausted and kind of disgusting. Not physically but am I really that desperate to get laid that I would have sex with someone I was supposed to hate? I dragged myself out and got dressed. I got in my car and drove to school. I saw Barthemew, Garfunkly, and Cornelius and even Cornelius' boyfriends Jonny Bobby Lobby Brown. Cornelius' baby bump is kind of visible. He claims he's a trans king and isn't ashamed of being pregnant. Who am I to judge? I just had sex with my supposed enemy. I shrug past them. Barthemew is saying some stupid shit. "Doesn't he look like a smurf? I swear to God he does." Barthemew starts laughing with Garfunkly and Cornelius but Jonny Bobby Lobby Brown is just fondly staring at Cornelius. Ew.
I shrug past into the school and pass a classroom door that was slightly ajar. I stopped though when I heard Harry's voice.
"Bald, you need to leave. I don't know why you even came here. I already told you I don't want to have anything to do with you." He whispers harshly. I didn't even know that he could even sound that mean.
The man he's talking to is almost a carbon copy of Harry except he's bald.
"Listen Harry, you can't escape me. Just join me please. This place is filthy and if you join me you'll be rich." The other man says.
"I don't even know how we're brothers." Harry says. He storms out of the room not even noticing me. That must be his brother, Bald Styles.
I walked past so his brother wouldn't notice me and just went to class to get stuff ready.
It was my lunch break and I was going to go out to find Harry and confess that I saw him and his brother and talk about last night. When I went out I saw he was talking to Obama. I got mad. When a nice guy gets mad the word shakes and my world is definitely shaking.
"If you had to pick one, what's your favorite food?" Obama asked, smiling.
"Watermelon, sugar"
"Hi." I interrupted and they both turned to look at me. Harry looked flustered and Obama looked kind of annoyed.
"Can I talk to you?" I asked, looking at Harry.
"Sure what's up?" He asked.
"Alone." I added. He nodded and we walked away as Obama looked dumb founded.
"So, I kinda sorta saw you and your brother fighting and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hear any of it and I hope you're ok." I rushed out.
"Oh.'" He said. Oh? OH! Just 'oh'
"Yeah he's my brother, bald Styles. He's not that good of a guy. He's been trying to recruit me into this odd sort of cult thing that's really obsessed with the serial killer in our town. It's like a weird adult detective club." He said.
"Oh, so that's what that was about?" I asked.
"Yeah. I just didn't want him showing up here. That's why I had to leave you so early. He texted me he was at the school and I didn't want him to do anything stupid so I rushed here." He said.
"OK. That makes me feel better. I honestly thought you just left and I wouldn't judge you but I would've at least liked a note." I said.
"Oh no I would never do that. Last night was awesome. I just had to rush." He said
The bell suddenly dinged saying that my lunch break had ended and we said our goodbyes and returned to our classes.
School was over and I lugged a new body into my trunk. His name was Gerald and he was the biggest shit you could ever imagine. Obamas been complaining for weeks about him and he suddenly decided he'd pull pranks on me too. I put some poison in his drink and he was quick to fall in the parking lot.
I then noticed my bladder was awfully full and went inside to use the restroom. After I was done washing my hands I ran into Obama in the hallway.
"How did Cornelius' appointment go?" I asked.
"What?" He said looking confused.
"The appointment you took him to on Friday." I said. The pieces in his head clicked together finally.
"Oh yeah. Everything's good. The baby is a boy but Cornelius doesn't know yet." He said smiling.
"The baby shower is actually Saturday if you want to come. I asked Harry but he said no and we're good friends." He said. He kind of rushed it out and it made my heart drop. Little did I know he was only doing this to get Harry jealous. Plan stealing bitch.