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❝ SHE'S GOT YOU MESMERIZED WHILE I DIE! ❞
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡︎♡︎♡︎ TODAY IS MY middle school graduation day. The sky looked clearer than it did on my elementary school graduation but everything else seemed to be so dull. Although my fellow students were jumping around in excitement and a few others were crying because they won't be able to see their friends anymore, I felt as numb as ever, with my elbows on top of the windowsill and looking over at the tiny figures down below.
Like always, I was just watching and observing, minding my own business and pretending as if I was merely a ghost that wandered around for the sake of finding my true purpose in life other than being a source of entertainment.
Parents and guardians hurried to the children that were waiting for them, congratulating them and most likely giving them gifts for doing what they can for their final year in middle school. I wouldn't say I was envious seeing as I cannot feel, but I could say that there's this void in my soul where I'd like it to be filled with the love from a parent.
My mother won't be able to make it to my graduation since she was in Taiwan as of the moment, handling a branch of our family business. But despite not being able to make it, she did send me a gift, one that I knew she knew I couldn't hate her for.
It was a thick album filled with family pictures, before and after father have died. I'm quite baffled how mother had all these photos and how come I'm unaware of some of these pictures being taken. All were in pristine condition as well, with little to no creases.
One of the pictures inside of the album was of my mother, cradling a sleeping infant in her arms while my father was smiling down at the baby, holding its hand gently. The baby was me, of course. But it was quite a sight to see, if I'm being honest. My mother had never exactly held me in her arms when I finally had a consciousness of my own, but seeing a picture of me being held by her have drastically changed my views on her.
I can never truly hate my mother, for even though I was a spitting image of my father, I have my mother's heart.
"You're deep in thought again."
Ryuhei's familiar voice from behind me made me sigh and take a step back from the window, completely being pulled out from my thoughts as the blond hugged me from behind, placing his chin on top of my shoulder.
"You weren't at the ceremony earlier," I said, and Ryuhei remained quiet, so I took this as an invitation to continue, "were you with your gang again?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered. I felt him press a kiss against the back of my ear while squeezing my sides, burying his head in the crook of my neck and groaning softly. "I really wanted to get to you earlier but something came up."
"What came up?" I asked. Ryuhei went quiet again before signing against my skin, his breath tickling me.
After nine years of being friends, Ryuhei has become distant from me. Not to the point where we rarely talk to each other anymore but I was starting to think he's getting tired of me — of our friendship. We haven't been hanging out lately and his usual excuse would be his gang, always keeping him busy and doing street fighting like your stereotypical teenage rebel gangster.
"I missed you," he whispered, kissing my skin so softly. He kept pressing gentle kisses against my neck and my shoulder, then taking my hand to kiss my knuckles. He was being so sweet and affectionate that I nearly forgot that he hasn't answered my texts from three days ago.
"Let's spend the rest of the day together, okay? No interruptions, no gangs, no bullies, and absolutely nothing will ruin our day."
You made the same promise two days ago, and the day before that, and a week ago, and several more times before.
Do you plan on breaking each and every one of them?
"I love you, [M.Name]," he muttered against my skin, making me shiver under his touch. "Please don't forget that."
I won't forget how many times you've hurt me either.
