ALPHA BECK

CHAPTER 10

The Monday that followed her dinner at Beck's house and sleepover at Tara's seemed to drag. Her cardiology appointment began at ten in the morning, which meant they had to leave extra early to get to Kalispell on time. To make matters worse, she had forgotten her phone at Tara's. Thus, had no way to keep Beck updated on how the appointment went. Like she said she would.

Millie had Beck drop her off about a block from Tara's house. He was skeptical until she explained that she wasn't ready to explain to her friend's that she is seeing someone. Millie was more or less a private person, and she wasn't one to spill as easily as her friends who were nosy and pushy enough to squeeze something out of her nonetheless. The less they knew the better, she had told him. Inside Tara's place, the kitchen was warm and smelled like flour, sugar, and frosting from a container. The baking was already underway, but the duo had quickly put Millie to work cutting out more dough in the shapes of stars, hearts, and flowers. They were blissfully unaware of her illness, the man her heart had been growing closer to, and the mystery that loomed in her past. Millie felt a tug in her heart, a longing to be back in Beck's strong arms. But at the same time, the obliviousness was a welcomed relief.

Back in the car the next morning, Millie daydreamed. With her forehead pressed to the window, she watched the gray sky loom overhead and the dark gray trees whisk in and out of view outside the warmth of the car. She felt drowsy with the vents blowing a lazy stream of warm air onto her face. To pass the time, she thought back to her evening with the wolf.

After dinner at Beck's but before leaving for Tara's, they had moved to the couch. It was a dark green, plush, velvety thing. Entirely inviting and all too tempting. They lounged on it, Beck sitting with his thick legs spread wide, feet firmly planted on the floor and one arm languidly thrown over the back cushion. Millie sat with her back to the arm rest, tossing her legs over his lap. The heavy wool blanket was spread over the both of them. They talked in soft tones, back to mundane topics between brief and harmless questions. Millie was easily distracted by him, consumed by his musky smell and the smoky taste of his skin that she could still remember. Being there with him, practically a stranger, was so wrong that it passed all the way through into the feeling of rightness. Had she been different, not doomed to illness, or never having been kidnapped, maybe she would be leerier of a stranger approaching her on a bridge and sealing her fate. Had she been different, she might not have met him at all. So she was happy for the slice of heaven that was her time with him. She was happy that it might have been wrong but felt in her gut so right. Apparently, she was knocking on death's door anyway. There wasn't much worse Beck could do to her.

"I have to ask you something," Millie said to him in the dim flickering light of the wood stove.

"Ask." Beck responded, his eyes taking in every inch of her face in a way that made her feel like he could see straight through to her soul.

Millie sucked her lower lip into her mouth before releasing it with a breath. "When I told you about what happened the other day, for a moment you looked... I don't know. Withdrawn? As if you had already lost me." Millie searched his eyes for an answer before she could even ask the question. "I know I scared you, I could feel you pulling away. What I said worried you. I know I'm your mate, but..." She went a different way. "Why? Why does that scare you?"

Beck couldn't meet her eyes for a moment, they fell to the blanket where just beneath their hands were tangled in knots. Unknowingly holding one another. Finally, his eyes locked on hers in a way that took her breath away with the intensity of his wild gaze. "You're my mate. Our connection runs as deep as our souls. Even if I didn't know you, the loss of you one way or another could be felt at the core of me. I would know if you died even if I never met you. You're my present and my future, of course it scares me to know that you could die before I even can get the chance to know you."