LAVENDER HAZE [YOON JEONGHAN]

CH: 9

Jeonghan

I sighed after checking the file. I was about to let out a sigh again when I received a text from Seungcheol, "wanna go out for a drink today? After work?" honestly, I had no energy, I know I was draining myself with work because I want her off my mind. How much I want to stop thinking about her but things weren't working for me ever since that day. Today marks one whole month.

How could I do this to myself? Despite of forgetting about her, I was thinking about her more, if only I took a hint that day that she doesn't want to meet up with me anymore, after being stood by her that day. She said she would come and I waited the whole day there, maybe that was a sign. I tried going there a few times till now, but she was never there.

Did she mean it when she said she would meet me the next day? And she left in a hurry that day? I closed my eyes for a brief second. I had no idea what was going on inside my head, it was getting too much. I went to drink with Seungcheol after work a number of times just to get wasted but my high tolerance got me nowhere and twice, I tried to be as wasted as I could and Seungcheol dropped me off yet I realized I was thinking about her. I have no idea if I ever told Seungcheol about her.

I wanted to get a grip on myself, I have no idea why am I like this.

I want to know, why was I stood up like this, if she never wanted to meet up, we could've parted ways and I would've kept my feelings all over to myself and slowly try to move on.

Her smiling face flashed right infront of me and I opened my eyes abruptly.

I want to get her off my mind, maybe visiting the café would put my heart at ease for some time. Maybe?

I still wanted the answers, to know what went wrong and why was I stood up and never got a chance to see her again for a whole one month. Why would she do that, when we could've just parted ways. This feels so unfair to me, still, I want to see her smile.

I miss her.

I took my coat and thought to get off work, I went out of my chamber after switching off the lights.

I took the elevator and went to the basement. After getting inside my car, I pulled the seatbelt and heaved a sigh, I don't know what was wrong, everyday felt the same after that day.

Sometimes I am so angry at myself that why can't I just forget her, why she had to be like this, why was she staying rent-free in my mind? Why couldn't I just let her go? Why was my mind and heart going back to her every time I tell myself not to think about her? Wish I could just let go of everything and not hold onto these things as my little emotional support. If only I knew a way to fix everything.

If getting drunk also can't fix me then what am I supposed to do?

I would go and talk with Seungcheol for hours randomly and sometimes rant out, he was worried because I never acted like this till now, and I've been so miserable for this one whole month; I've never been so miserable like this and now I am because of one reason, one person.

Luna.

I wonder how things would've been if we met that day as she promised.

I tried to shrug off all the thoughts about her and everything; then drove to the café. I reached there in few minutes, I don't know what speed I used, I kept my coat on passenger's seat and folded my sleeves. After parking the car, I took a good look at the café and went inside.

Daisy took my order and I went to sit on my usual seat. I took out my phone and scrolled through the messages. I was bored and since I didn't want my mind to go back to her thoughts, I decided to do just anything.

I closed my eyes for a second and my phone started ringing, I looked at the caller ID and smiled.

"Coming or not?"
"I'm out today, I'm in our favorite café right now and will go home soon."

"So, no drinking today?"
"No, I'm dead tired. I will pass"

"Yah, at least let me know when you reach home, okay?" I had a puzzled look on my face, anyone could see it right now.
"What do you mean?"

"Just let me know." he felt hesitant, which was very rare, Seungcheol is never hesitant.

"Okay, no worries."

"I'm hanging up, bye~"
"Bye" a chuckle left my mouth, no matter how much he grows, he's still the silly adorable Seungcheol, my bestfriend, my everything.

"Jeonghan?"

The moment I heard the voice, my heart skipped a beat. I refused to believe and look at her but I knew my heart would give in and I raised my head. The moment I looked at her, all the memories flashed back to me.

Her smile, her happy face, her voice, her most precious face when she was petting Kkuma, her face when she met her friend that day. all the things and features I admired came back to me, everything which I was wanting to forget came back to me like a high wave.

They say time and tides wait for none and that's what happened with me, the way the tide hit me, I couldn't stop it and I could just see her infornt of me.

She was standing infront of me and her beautiful eyes telling me something which I couldn't understand at all. Wish I had the power and ability to understand whatever she was saying and wanting to say with her eyes.

"Jeonghan?"

If one word which could describe my feelings right now then, it was.

Devastated.

I was feeling devastated.

Author's Note:
I AM SO SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE!!! MY APOLOGIES

Are you excited to find what happens next? And any thoughts about this chapter? I would be glad to know, if you have any thoughts ^^

Happy reading!