The Affair

The Release

I barrel through the woods with no focus on where I'm running. My body is vibrating with the need to release the full extent of my power. I've been suppressing it for so long that it's suffocating me from the inside. Even when I destroyed the lake almost two weeks ago, I still had to reel in my power, when all I wanted to do was let it spread and devour the city.

As I weave through trees, my thoughts bounce from one crippling memory to the next. The windowed mother begging for mercy at my feet. The father asking for help to find his son who will never return because he is dead, along with the fae he was going to marry. The two fae I murdered under the mountain during the last trial. Claire Beddor's mangled body hung on the wall because I told Rhysand her name instead of mine. Amaratha's smiling face as she cracked all the bones in my human body. Andreas's pleading eyes before I shot an arrow through one of them out of hatred of his kind.

The guilt racks through my body, sending me to my knees. I plant my fire-covered hands on the ground in front of me. Looking up to the sky, I release a bloodcurdling scream full of guilt and agony.

And finally let my power explode.

It comes out in the form of fire, igniting around me, coloring my surroundings in various shades of orange. It blinds my vision of the forest so I have no idea how far this fire is traveling. But unlike the time at the lake, there are no people nearby, no one I could hurt. Just acres and acres of woods.

I scream out my frustration as I let my power pour out my body. With every wave of power released, it takes some of my guilt and suffering with it, and I can breath a little bit easier. The tension that has constantly been eating at me finally eases as the flames flow.

I don't feel their heat myself, but I somehow now they are burning everything else in their path.

I don't know how long this lasts. Minutes. Hours. I don't have a clue.

But eventually the fire exploding around me starts to wane. Slowly but surely, the burning flames that completely blocked my vision of the forest, turn to a small ring of burning embers, and then they disappear completely.

The tension that had taken hold of my body is completely gone, along with my magic. I realeased it all. At least all that I can access. It's like I've reached an empty cellar, but who knows if there is a secret door somewhere that leads to more.

But I don't focus on that now. I just keep my eyes focused on the burnt ground. Because for the first time in what feels like years...I can breath.

And everything is quiet.

"That was quite the show."

My head whips around at the abrupt interruption of my silent mind. My eyes goes wide when I process who spoke.

Rhysand stands not ten feet behind me with his hands resting casually in his pockets.

I open my mouth to demand what he is doing here but my attention catches on something else—a pile of ash to his right. Looking around, I notice there is another pile. And another. And ten more after that, all within a thirty meter radius of where I stand. The ground is black, covered in piles of ash from trees I burned with my fire. On the outskirts of the ash circle are trees that are still standing, but they blacked and naked of their leaves.

I swallow hard. My power is a disease. It destroys everything it touches. I destroy the very thing I touch. What is wrong with me.