Dayton

Chapter 26

"Come on, let's get our son ready for bed," he suggests, slipping his left hand down my arm to hold my hand. "Then you are sleeping in bed with me tonight after we snuggle while we watch something on the t.v."

"Okay, but, never mind," I mumble, detaching myself from Ajax's hold, and walk into the living room.

Squatting down next to Darien, quietly saying; "Let's clean up your toys, so you can have a bath."

Darien looks at me with a scowl; "No, dada."

"I know you are having fun playing, love, but we have to get ready for bed," I gently say. "Will you help me pick up your toys?"

"No," he firmly states with a pout, and a shake of his head as he continues to play. "No luve you."

Tears fill my eyes at those three little words, though I know he does not really mean those. He just does not want to stop playing.

"Darien James Valentino, it is time to clean up for your bath. You can play more tomorrow," I murmur, picking up a toy off the floor near him to place it in the toy box.

"No! Mean dada!" Darien hollers, throwing a toy at me, and manages to hit me in the mouth when I turn around.

The split on my lip rips open, and blood drips down my chin, and I silently walk to the bathroom, where I press toilet paper onto my lip to stop the bleeding.

"Sowwy, dada," Darien's little voice says from the door, and I glance over at him as Ajax holds him on his left hip.

"It is okay, D," I assure him with a partial smile. "Let papa change you into jammies, and I will be there in a minute to read you a story, okay?"

"I thought you were gonna give him a bath?" Ajax asks in confusion.

Shaking my head, I tell him; "I will give him a bath in the morning before I take him to daycare."

"If you are sure, then I will get him in his jammies," Ajax asks for clarification.

"Yeah, I am sure," I answer with a tiny smile, throwing away the bloody piece of tissue in the toilet before flushing, and washing my hands.

Ajax walks away with Darien, and I walk into the living room to place away the toys, and when I finish I make my way to D's bedroom. Ajax has him in his jammies, and tucked into bed with his two stuffies, and the book that D has picked out to be read on the edge of the bed.

Ajax gives Darien a kiss on the forehead after telling him that he loves him before leaving the room as I settle on the little stool next to the bed to read the book. Finishing the story, I sit there for a few minutes more despite D being asleep for several minutes. Am I a good dad to my son or not? Man, how and why did I let my life get so derailed off the tracks?

"Hey baby, what are you doing?" Ajax's quiet voice asks, breaking me out of my intrusive thoughts as I watch D sleep.

Rolling the back of my head against the wall to look at him as I whisper before lulling my head back to face Darien; " Am I a good dad? I know I suck as a boyfriend, so am I a bad dad to Darien?"

"Is this because of earlier? Day, kids test their boundaries with their parents, and you handled it well. Even when he threw the toy at you," Ajax whispers, so our conversation does not wake Darien.

"That, and everything that I have been doing wrong lately," I honestly answer. "I Have been making shit decisions lately, so I have to be a horrible parent."

"Maybe you need a break, a mini vacation, so to speak," he murmurs, entering the room to kneel in front of me with a frown. "Maybe we should go away this upcoming weekend, leave early Friday morning, and come back home late Sunday afternoon. What do you think?"

Shrugging my shoulders that head is not on; "If you would like, it is up to you. Just let me know my share of the cost for D and me, and what I need to pack for him and me."

"Day, I am not gonna accept or ask you to pay for this mini trip, especially when this was my idea," he firmly states. "Let's take this conversation into our room, so we do not wake D."

Slowly standing, I place away the book, and follow behind Jax into our bedroom. Stripping out of my clothes, tossing these into the hamper before pulling on a pair of jammies, and slip under the covers. Lying on my stomach with my left arm bent under my chest, and my right arm bent under my pillow, and bending my right leg slightly. Ajax crawls into bed beside me, and he silently stares at me, and I do the same to him.

"Baby, can I suggest something to you?" he gently asks, and when I nod, he continues. "What I am about to suggest is not meant as a criticism toward you, but me trying to be helpful. May I suggest that we as in you and I, attend therapy together as a couple, and separately? I think this will help us individually, and as a couple."

"Sure, whatever you want, and I will call in the morning to schedule a couples session, and one for myself. I cannot make one for you, so you will have to do this yourself," I mumble, not wanting to do this, or argue with him about the subject, and I know he is right. "Gonna go to sleep now."

"I thought we were gonna cuddle, and watch something together?" he asks with a pout, and I can hear the confusion dripping from his tone of voice.

"Okay," I mumble, not really in the mood to do this anymore, but I figure I did agree to this, but I am happy he dropped the subject from D's bedroom.

Moving closer to his side, I rest half of my body over top of his since he is lying on his back, and his arm outstretched. Once I am settled comfortably against him, he wraps his outstretched arm around my shoulders, and gently grasps my shoulder.

"Are you happy being in a relationship with me?" he murmurs, and my head instantly snaps up to look at him in disbelief.

"Of course I am," I answer, wondering where his question came from. "I know I make myself difficult for you to love, but I am gonna fix that."