Camren Lust

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Lauren's POV:

It's been about two weeks since my first visit with Dr. Davis and I must say, it's been going well. I've been having nightmares the past few nights, and fell off the small bed last night which is considerably smaller with two people on it. So, this morning, we rearranged our small dorm room. We pushed our beds together and bought one of those pillow top mattresses to cover the crease. This way, we can cuddle and not fall off the bed. It's almost the size of a king bed now, which is awesome.

Camila and I packing now, we're leaving for Miami tomorrow morning to go home for Thanksgiving. I had a session with Dr. Davis this morning and the next one is in a week when we get back, but she's going to give me some coping mechanisms today and she said that if I really need to, we can have a Skype session.

All of a sudden I had a flashback. I kept getting quick images of Brad and Austin's faces, and what they were doing to me. I could almost feel them hitting me and hear them saying those awful things. Wait, who's voice is that? That's a girls voice.

"LAUREN!" Camila yelled. That snapped me out of it. She had that same worried expression that she had that night. I collapsed into her arms and held her tight, she caught me almost as if she were expecting it. She was rubbing my back and saying something but I was too far gone at the moment. All I could make out was "a-ou-ay" so I listened again. "Are you okay? Lauren?" I nodded my head quickly into the crook of her neck before she loosed her grip to look at me.

"I'm fine."

"What happened?" She asked sincerely.

"Just.. a flashback." I said. Instead of answering she simply pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back. After a moment I pulled away and turned to continue packing. "I'm fine Camz, don't worry about it.""You know I will, but okay" she smiled.

After packing we left to meet see Ms. Smith and record our next video for YouTube with the girls. Today we did Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean, but we recorded it at Ms. Smith's house, which is right off campus, because the studio was taken. It went well, as usual. I've been a little out of it today, but luckily I got into the music and made it seem like I was doing better than I actually was. The girls seemed to notice, but didn't say anything. Camila and I went back to the dorm shortly after the recording.

"Lauren?" Camila asked as we walked into the dorm. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Lauren.. I know you. C'mon, please?"

"I just.. I'm having bad thoughts." I said as I sat on the bed.

"Bad thoughts?" She questioned. I just nodded in return. "Like thoughts about what happened... or you want to... do something... like... to yourself?" It was cute because she was being shy and didn't know how to word it.

"Yeah. I haven't done it since I told you about it and the need.. it's just getting worse and worse." I could feel my eyes welling up with tears, "you don't understand."

"No, you're right." She sat next to me and put her hand on my mid-thigh. "I don't understand. I don't understand that feeling, but that doesn't that I'm not here for you and that I can't help you stop. You've been doing amazing so far baby. I'm so proud of you, you don't even know." I turned to her and smiled slightly.

"Thanks Camz" I said before giving a quick peck on the lips.

***Camila's POV:

I wake up in the middle of the night to anxious movement beside me along with moans of stress and words I could barely make out. Lauren was having a nightmare again.

"Babe?" I roll onto my side to face her and place a hand on her but she wasn't waking.

"Lauren" I said louder with a slight shake to her shoulders.

"No! Get away from me!" She was slapping my hands away, but I knew she was still in her dream.

"Lauren! Wake up babe" I said more forcefully with another shake. She sat straight up and looked around the room. I put my arms around her and pull her into my chest as I say "Lauren it's me, it's okay baby you were just dreaming." She collapsed into my embrace and began to cry, slightly hyperventilating. "Shhh it's okay," I rubbed her back with one hand and played with her hair with my other hand.

We stayed like that for a few moments until she sat up again and made fists with both hands. It was dark in the room, the only light was provided by the TV, but I could see the angry expression on her face. This had never happened before, I didn't know what was going on.

"Babe?" I sat up next to her and put my hand on her back. She stood up and threw a pillow across the room, letting it smack against the door and crinkling the Ed Sheeran poster I recently put up.

"I hate them! I hate what they did to me!" She yelled. She headed towards the wall with her hand still made into a fist, but I was faster than she was, I held her back before she could do anything. I forced her into a hug and her anger with Brad and Austin subsided to tears.

"I know baby. I hate what they did to you too. I absolutely hate it. But you can get through this. You are strong and you can do this, you have me too. I'm not going anywhere." I attempted at calming her, and it seemed to work. As we stood there for what could have been minutes her crying slowed until it was simply us hugging in the middle of the room in the middle of the night. She pulled away slightly in order to look at me, but didn't let go.

"Thank you for always being here. I swear I'm doing my best to get better."

"I know you are Laur, but it's okay. I love you no matter what," I said.

"I love you too Camila." We shared a quick kiss before she pulled me back to bed and we cuddled until we both fell asleep.

***

We were boarding the plane to Miami, and I still hadn't told Lauren how much I hate planes. We found our seats, and luckily there were only two seats per row so we wouldn't have to sit next to a stranger.

"You want the window or the aisle?" Lauren asked.

"Window please," I smiled. She extended her arm fancily to show me my seat. She took my hand to help me sit as they would do back in the day. It was cute. We sat and talked for about twenty minutes before the engine started and the plane rolled to the runway. I was starting to get anxious as the flight attendant was showing us the oxygen mask and life preserver. I took Lauren's hand subtly. The flight attendant went to the back of the plane and the engine roared as the pilot began to speed down the runway. I grabbed both armrests so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

"Are you okay? Do you not like flying?" Lauren asked as I shook my head quickly and squeezed my eyes shut. "Aw baby, it's okay I'm right here" she said as she put her arm around me and took my other hand in hers, allowing me to squeeze it. I rested my head on her shoulder, all of which was very comforting.

Once we were up in the air and going steady it got better for awhile, until we hit turbulence. The plane started shaking violently. I put my head into my knees and my hands on my head, grabbing handfuls of hair and squeezing. Lauren took action immediately and pushed up the armrest and pulled me into her arms as well as she could considering we were buckled in. She kept whispering "It's gonna be okay. I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen." We stayed like this until the shaking stopped, well, at least the planes shaking. I was still shaking. For the rest of the two and a half hour flight she kept her arm around me and held my hand with her free hand. We finally got off at the beautiful Miami airport.

"It's good to be home," Lauren said. I haven't seen this happy of a look on her face since the incident with Brad and Austin.

"That it is." I said, "I can't wait to meet your friends and for you to meet mine."

"Me too," She smiled. "And to meet your parents."

"Yeah.. about that.. they're um. Not the most accepting of people like us." I said hesitantly because I waited so long to tell her. Lauren stopped dead in her tracks.

"What?"