Back Then

chapter 4

Guy was working on himself and why should I interfere?

I haven't revealed anything interesting about me yet , So
I'm Sandra Wilson aka Sandy. Lately I'm working at My brother Ross's office. I was hooked on drugs for the past few years , taking me nowhere near to my dreams. The deviations took me to hell and now I'm burning myself as a sacrifice. Keeping all my faux pas aside, I'm a zealous cook , especially when in comes to beans I'm pretty professional.

I'm down in the dumps for being Nobita without a Doraemon , clumsy and all alone . Nothing but my procrastination took it here on this last leg , I'm less worried because setbacks or rejection doesn't taste unless it is first few times. The parabola is still at its origin and at moments I forget that someday I should make myself proud and this life worthy.

I'm literally Grasping at straws as time flies . While trying to save money for my dream pastry shop from one side , the other side is reasonably leaking and how am I gonna pull the chain , I never know . My goals are like , get some money , get a home , a family , a car ; It sound like someone's dad , but when it comes into pastry shop , I'm dead serious.

As I'm with Ross , My life got a serious tilt from regular ,even my sleep wake cycle got altered , I sleep like every other ideal human being . Lawyer's entire life is unscripted yet dramatic and unforeseeable , so is my life ,even though I'm only an assistant. Squeezing in through the infinite loops of truth and lies , there are episodes of black and white gushing across their life making it further crowded .

No Godfather, it's only him who made that powerful empire ,now that we can proudly say our elder brother is a lawyer , louder . Being around him gladden me , my dad atleast gave me three siblings who genuinely love and care for each other ,it enabled me to get my dream black couch and home appliances within a short span, pros !

Few things about my fam , Tina and Jake are twins , Ross is elder one . He's married to Lana , how me made ths musician from Texas fall for him is another interesting story . This is our little and humble family . We grew up wandering around this outskirts of Los Angeles looking at lillies bloom , waiting for ours , except me others are definitely blooming with seriously elegant colours .

The faded memories of us infront of uncle Percy's savoury mart amidst setting sun hopefully waiting for leftover doughnuts and apple pies shiver my soul from core , I still get anxious with any flashbacks from past , but uncle Percy's smile is an exception. Inspite of traumas from the convent orphanage , atleast I'm happy that Uncle Percy existed as a compassionate one . Instead of letting us die , he did all good by showing us what love is , I'm happy that my dad atleast had this gracious sibling that we never forget his existence . His wife never approved yet he couldn't handle seeing us starving, human like him are as rare as hen's teeth. Everytime I pray , I remember his kind face , we had nothing to pay .

Back then , everything were filled with unclear colours . He's one of the colour, still blurred under my inner sight , disappeared before we could thank . Hope his soul rest in peace

There was a group of bully girls , I was scared of , even now I see them I tend to run away . I don't know why everything about my childhood turned to this terrifying. I still weep , thinking of elements I missed for born to my dad . Earth could have rejected me before I step in , I'm almost useless at anything . These bully girls were adding further  to my hugs heaps fear and anxiety .

I was literally choked to death from inside with all those sediments of fear and inferiority.Four of us grew up kind, realising the pain of being alone and subjected. Nobody deserves this , little Tina and Jake had to change school . As a child I never thought these  consequences could interfere with my adulthood and drain me under pain . Few things are horribly unforgettable and for me it's my dark and haunting childhood .

My teenage were even congested under pressure of being broke . Further complications were brought by my ex , again drenching me into distress. I was happy for my siblings, they were determined to face anything on way unlike me who would possibly run away even before it rains . The outcome depends on input , for sure , they built their space and me as a black sheep amongst, almost went homeless.

I'm sandwiched between reality and fantasy , no doubt why I went for drugs( now , if you see me chewing gums , relax I'm rehabilitating) .
I would like to introduce myself as a skilled escapist . These days I escape too much that sometimes I forget the existence of reality . When I try focusing reality , tables turn .Life as I perceive is an unclear mixture, the gradient keeps it alive and unique . To someone it gives a better reality whereas for some it obligate to just escape space . Everything being downhill , it favour me to disappear. I'm sure this isn't a debatable drop , it's just the truth for anyone. Feel like I have zero voice in this world and other world seems bit more affectionate .

More drama , more escapes , less money , that's me .

Everything were nice untill this happened . Today ,
Just after returning from work while watering my plant babies i got this anonymous call .

" Miss, you work with Ross. I tried reaching Ross but he isn't here "

Is there anything going on?
It was literally a bad day at office.

Something just jumped out of my skin. Ross ..! He was just there when I returned , almost ready to leave .

Definitely a convincing yet mysterious that he isn't there. I returned may be few minutes ago . The call came from office's landline. But.... Literally endless questions started troubling me from inside. Is Ross ok? Did someone come over ? He was definitely not okay this morning,I don't know and I didn't have the audacity to ask .Honestly, I could smell some rat . Ross also looked a little panicked and absorbed since morning.

The emptiness in my head were muddling up . I was panicked . I took phone and dialed Ross.

Ross isn't picking up !
Should I call Lana?
What if Ross is home or is that from any of city's infamous burglars ?

Being caught in a lurching state , I didn't know where to start from . I tried reaching Ross's manager . Again a mission fails .

I shouldn't be wasting time at this house on fire point . I should be prepared enough to hold whatever reactions Lana gives . This is sad

I called Lana . She asked me where's Ross. Nothing other than telling her he's on way was possible at that point. I started running around home , with zero ideas on what to do . I informed Tina and Jake. Tina started crying mid way explaining. He's a famous lawyer . She was weeping thinking of death threats Ross receives as a lawyer and that he called her a few days ago explaining many of these .

Me , Jake and Tina tried reaching every acquaintance of Ross without alarming them. To tackle myself from the pin and needles, I took chewing gums and started chewing like a cow hoping this was just a delusion even though it is not , I chewed faster and faster .

It's almost like Ross is missing!

Ross's closing time is 4 , it's almost 7 . There's no way Ross escapes places without letting someone know . Everyone was nervous and blank at that  point .

We rushed towards his office in Jake's car. What the heck ! Office is open  out and Ross 's van is still here !

So where's Ross ?