Broken Mirrors

-2-

When things get bad, I tell myself to fight. When they get worse, I fight harder. But when things become unbearable, and I feel like giving up, I do it for her. Because she can't do this on her own.

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I woke to Rosie's worried face staring at me. She was kneeling beside my bed, watching me closely.

"You were screaming." She whispered, and her eyes began to fill with tears. "It scared me."

It was another nightmare. Sometimes I end up screaming in my sleep, and Rosie will always wake me up. She says that she doesn't like to see me upset.

I could hear distant yelling coming from somewhere else in this house. My mom and dad were fighting again. I couldn't take this. Not tonight.

I took my sister's hand and led her to the window. As I opened it I said, "Come on, let's go to heaven." And we climbed out the window and into the quiet of the night. We could still faintly hear their argument as we walked across the backyard.

Heaven was our safe place. Behind our backyard, a grass path was hidden behind tall weeds. We called it heaven. It was a straight path, behind all the houses on my side of the street. When things got bad at home, or we just needed to get away, me and Rosie came to heaven and walked for hours at a time.

Tonight, gray clouds blocked out the moon's glow, and the grass was wet with dew. Sometimes I could hear the faint conversations coming from the houses around us, but tonight it was quiet. The only sounds I could hear were the trees whispering in the breeze, and the rustling of the grass under our feet.

We walked in silence for a long while, taking in the fresh night air. Abruptly, Rosie stopped and turned to face me.

I didn't notice that she had been crying until now, when I saw tear marks all over her cheeks. "I'm scared of the future." She told me. "Sometimes I lay awake at night, wondering when I'll die. If it will be next week or when I'm ninety."

I looked up to see a bat fly from one tree to the next. "See that bat. He's free. He can fly anywhere he wants. And one day, you'll be free. And as soon as that day comes, I'll take you as far away from this place as we can go. I'd take you off this planet if I could."

"Well, can't we go tonight?" She asked me with hopeful eyes.

Instead of answering, I pulled her into a tight hug. I gripped her hand in mine, and we ran and ran until our limbs ached and our lungs begged us to stop. We laughed and yelled along along the way, probably waking up half of the neighborhood.

On the way back, I gave Rosie a piggy back ride, and she had fallen asleep on my shoulder. When we arrived back at the house, it was quiet. I figured they must have gone to bed.

Trying to keep Rosie from falling off my back, I struggled to open the front door, but when I did no one was around.

I gently lay her in her bed and tucked her before kissing her cheek softly.

For a while, I just stared at her. I tried to conger up some kind of plan- anything to get her out of here, and I prayed that she was having good dreams. At some point, I guess, I had fallen asleep.

***

When I opened my eyes the next morning, the sun was pretty high in the sky and light streamed into the room. Rosie was still curled up in bed asleep, so I quietly made my way to the kitchen. My breath caught a little when I saw the drunken figure glaring at me from the table. My mother.

"Where the hell were you last night?" She yelled, holding her head tight in her hands. Probably a hangover.

"I-I was. We were-" I started to come up with some lousy explanation, but she cut me off.

"I said, where the hell were you? And where did you take my baby Rosie?" She stood up and took a few steps toward me. "I swear, If she's hurt I'll kill you."

"She's not hurt." I stepped back a few steps. "And I'm more of a mother to her than you've ever been. I took her out of here because she was scared. She heard you and Albert fighting."

For a few seconds she just stood there with wide eyes, probably trying to think of what to say that would hurt. Hurt more than the ugly truth I had just told her. Then she smacked me across the face. Hard. My eyes began to feel with tears, but I fought them back.

"Get out. I SAID GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She screamed at me.

My cheek still stung as I rushed to the front door. Just as I reached it, Rosie appeared in the hallway.

"Where are you going?" She asked me with her head cocked to the side. She looked like a lost puppy dog.

"I'm just going out for the day, but I'll be back tonight. I promise." I bent down and planted a kiss on her cheek.

I started to open the door, but she spoke again. "Well, can I come with?" She was now right behind me.

"You have to stay here, sweetie." I wanted nothing more right now than to pick her up and take her far away from here, but I couldn't.

"Why?"

"Do you trust me?" I asked completely ignoring her question.

She nodded.

"Do you know that I love you?"

She nodded again.

"Okay then. I'll see you tonight, sweetie. Stay out of trouble." I kissed her again and walked out onto the sidewalk.

The early afternoon air was crisp, and there was a slight chill in the breeze. I didn't know where I was going, but I was going somewhere, and that's all that really matters.

Somehow, I ended up at the park. Sitting on a bench, I watched as the children chased each other carefree.

It made me think of a time when I was carefree. It was so long ago that I barely remember. This was before my dad died, and before Albert came into the picture, and my mom was sober. We would come to the park every Sunday after church, and my parents would sit on the same bench I sat on now, watching us climb on the monkey bars.

It made me happy and sad at the same time. Everything was different now. It would never be the same.

I was broken out of my thoughts when a familiar voice called out my name. "Well look who decided to show her ugly face."

I cringed as I turned to see Mark's scowl behind me.

***

A/N

Rosie is at the top. Just imagine her with shorter hair than the girl in the picture has!