HOME [TAMBER]

CHAPTER 10

Amber put the paper bag on the table and pulled out the content. When she woke up this morning, her usual breakfast wasn't set on the table. She wanted to knock Tara's door to ask her to get breakfast out but she thought that Tara probably was still fast asleep and tired to get out.

So she walked through the chilly wind to the
nearest coffee shop to bought them food and coffee. Macchiato with extra caramel for Tara-that's how Tars liked her coffee. She chuckled at herself, remembering that one morning when the both of them was late and decided to take brunch at the same coffee shop. Tara had to back and
forth several times to the counter asking for more caramel.

"Im a sucker for caramel," she said that morning.

Amber set the things she bought on the plate. It wasn't a pretty presentation but at least it was neat. It was actually felt nice to prepare breakfast for Tara. It was her first time, but Amber wouldn't mind to do this again in the future.

"Okay, all set. Now lets practice our apology
speech," she said to herself,

"ReeRee, I'm sorry for last night. That was rude and unnecessary and I'm sorry. I wont do that again and I'll make it up to you. Look! Breakfast," She played act like Tara was there.

"Okay, that is so lame." She scratched her head.

"Let's try again." She cleared her throat.

"Wait, you know what. I'm not going to do it
again." She still spoke to herself.

When she was about to drag Tara out of bed, she heard the sound of opening door. She smiled to
herself, hoping Tara would like what she did to
her.

"Hey! Look, I.. Are you going somewhere?"
Her wide smile changed into confused one at the time she saw Tara was fully clothed in Sunday morning.

"I don't deserve this" Tara started with already
higher octave.

"What's with the yell? Of course you deserve
this. I mean for everything that you have done
to me,"

"Yeah, you right. After what I've done to you,
I done nothing but being nice to you. For God
sake! Hell, Amber, I don't deserve your behavior
towards me!"

"Tara, it's just breakfast,"

"What?"

"I brought us breakfast. I bought Macchiato
with extra caramel for you. See? Your favorite?
It is just breakfast, of course you deserve it." She
said softly.

"Im not talking about breakfast! God damn
it, Amber!" She yelled in high-pitched making Amber flinched.

"Im done with you being bipolar, I don't
deserve your behavior last night! I don't
deserve to be your object to yell at or to get cold
treatment by you anytime you pleased. AIl this
time I've held it inside but it will not happen
any longer. You say sorry then you do it again.
I'm done with whatever this is," Tara panted- ran out of her breath. She could heard the beats of her neck pulse, she could felt the palpitation in her chest

Amber stood there with mouth agape- speechless.

She wanted to say sorry. But she heard it herself,
she said sorry then did it again. She realized that it was right, what Tara said was right.

She admitted that she rejected Tara so many
times, she attempted to push her away and
convinced herself she better off stay alone. But
that didn't mean she didn't try. She tried, she tried really hard to be better-she thought she was getting better. Well, the fact was; she wasn't. Old habit die hard, they said.

She'd been with herself for years; she never let
anyone in into her life as deep as Tara did.
Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. Her effort wasn't enough.