Drowning Deep Into Love

F A U L T

"The Past is the narrative we choose to believe....."

Present time

⁕ 𝖠𝗌𝗁𝗍𝗈𝗇 𝖣𝖾'𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗂𝗌 ⁕

I woke up at 4 am, sweating from a beautiful nightmare - me and Samantha getting married. "Ugh, why the fuck do I have to dream about things that can never happen?"

I tiptoed to Matt's room and saw him sleeping peacefully. My heart melted at the sight of my broken piece of a heart resting. I sat by his side for a few moments before heading to the study room.

As I walked, my mind was racing with thoughts, and my heart felt heavy with emotions. I couldn't believe how real the dream felt. It was like a punch to the gut, reminding me of what I could never have.

But I had to push those thoughts aside and focus on my work. I was so engrossed in my work that I didn't even notice the time slipping away. It was only when Denver knocked on my door that I realized how late it had gotten.

He had changed a lot in these four years. He had matured and wasn't as cold-hearted as before, especially when it came to Matteo. But he still put up that icy facade for the rest of the world.

"Hey," he said, poking his head into my study room. "What are you still doing here?"

I let out a deep sigh and rubbed my temples. "Just trying to get some work done. You know how it is."

He nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, I do. But you need to take a break. It's not healthy to work yourself to death." 

I rolled my eyes, not in the mood for Denver's constant nagging. "Thanks for the advice, Mom," I said.

Denver clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep his cool. "I'm just here to tell you that we've got everything sorted for the birthday party," he said, his words slow and deliberate. "And it's just gonna be a small gathering. Vincent and Grace will be joining us later..." he continued, his tone returning to its usual.

Grace was the daughter of my mother's friend, but she always felt more like an older sister to me. She was married to Vincent Alderisio, who oversaw my work in Italy.

I nodded absentmindedly, my mind went back to the project. Denver must have sensed my distraction because he trailed off and looked at me with concern. "Jesus Christ, Ash. You could've at least tried to fucking listen to what the fuck I'm trying to say." His tone was too sharp for anyone, but I brushed it off.

"I'm sorry, but do you see just how much shit I have wiped off? I still have a job to finish and it's taking me forever." I replied.

"It wasn't your damn fault, Ash... So stop trying to act like it was," he said, the volume he had in his voice was low, but just enough to punch me in the gut.

"I know!" I said but it was so difficult to keep cool now.

The air that surrounded us could've suffocated anyone, but not to the likes of us. "Felix's taking him [Matt] to the park. And you better try not to do anything stupid at the party tomorrow," he said sternly, before storming off and slamming the door shut behind him.

_________________________

I got home early today because I didn't want to ruin my son's birthday. It's tough trying to move on without her, but I can't let my pain and regret overshadow Matt's special day. He's only four, and I don't want him to look back on his childhood and remember a father who was too caught up in his own problems to care about his own kid.