Drowning Deep Into Love

V A L E N T I N E

"Before us... I was the frigid winter, and you were the scorching summer... "

⁕ 𝖠𝗌𝗁 𝖣𝖾'𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗂𝗌 ⁕

My Darlin' Samantha,

Ever since you left, things haven't been the same. Every moment without you feels like a kick in the gut. I wish I could turn back time and make everything right again.

Before I met you, I was just like a doom, destroying everything that came my way. But then you came into my life like a flood, washing away all the trouble and grief inside me. You made me realize that the anger I used to harbor was nothing but love that I kept locked away.

Remember, people used to call us a devil and an angel? They thought I'd be the death of you, but little did they know that you brought me back to life. But now, that you're gone, I can feel my heart shattering into a million pieces. 

Maybe those people were right... I should've listened to them. I wish our paths had never collided 'cause then you'd still be breathing and living.

How can someone as sweet and kind as you, ever could love someone like me, a murderer? 

When you dropped the baby bomb, I was such a rookie, I thought we were too green to be parents. But then you showed me that parenting is the sweetest gig on the earth, a love that fills your soul with sunshine and happiness. Witnessing ourselves together evolving and flourishing in one little body, opened my eyes to the beauty we concocted. Now It just kills me so much that you aren't here to witness all of this.

I'm writing this letter to you, on Valentine's Day, in your diary. I know you're not here to read it, but I just wanted to say how much I love you. You were the light in my life, and now everything feels so dark without you......

Always and forever 
Yours Ash.....

P.S. I love you and I need you here by my side because I'm slowly losing the memory of your touch, your scent, the resonance of your voice... and this emptiness is tormenting me more than the thought of loving you less.

It was 1:30 a.m. and as I finished writing, tears started to blur my vision, and a few drops fell on the page too. A flood of memories of Samantha came rushing back to me. Like the first time we met at the altar, she was scared shitless. Or when she told me she didn't wanna die a virgin as I was stitching up her hand wound or when I said "I love you" in Italian.

But the best memory had to be when I felt the baby kicking for the first time. I stayed up all night, placing my head on Sam's belly just to feel that rush over and over again.

_________________________

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart and I decided to take a day off from work and gave all the servants the day off too. Now it was just me and Matteo at home. 

I made my way down to the open basement where the gym was located and overlooked the garden, revealing a swimming pool as its centerpiece. 

When I was done with my morning routine Denver called me up and asked if I wanted to hit up a club with him, but he already knew the answer.

I hung out with Matteo today and we had a blast. We even watched The Lion King - the kid's a movie buff like his mother. But his arm was still not great, so we switched to playing some video games instead of going outside to throw a ball around or something.

During the evening, he had a serious craving for ice cream, so we ended up devouring a whole bunch of it. Matteo was so stuffed he couldn't even budge from his spot.