My Dear Impossible Love

9:Not Being Loved Back

With the passing of the days.
I have found the reason.
The why of everything.
I have come to a conclusion.

Im not afraid of loving you.
Im afraid of not being loved back.
That's why I avoid you in the corridors.
I look at the ground to avoid crossing glances.
Thats why I avoid saying your name in case my voice shakes.
That's why I cant talk to you.
I find it hard to breath and talk without stuttering when you are near.
I'm afraid that you'll break my heart.
And that you'll break it so much that it takes months to rebuild it.

I've suddenly become hard to sleep.
It's like thinking about you has put a curse on me.
It's not all so physical anymore.
Now I wonder how it would feel to talk to you until dawn.

Im not afraid of loving you.
Im afraid of not being loved back.
That's why I avoid you in the corridors.
I look at the ground to avoid crossing glances.
Thats why I avoid saying your name in case my voice shakes.
That's why I cant talk to you.
I find it hard to breath and talk without stuttering when you are near.
I'm afraid that you'll break my heart.
And that you'll break it so much that it takes months to rebuild it.

How will my name feel on your lips?
How will your caress feel?
how will your hugs and your loving words feel?
It's like things I dream about.
That are as close at hand as a rose petal.
But as far away as a petal of a rose bush full of thorns.

Im not afraid of loving you.
Im afraid of not being loved back.
That's why I avoid you in the corridors.
I look at the ground to avoid crossing glances.
Thats why I avoid saying your name in case my voice shakes.
That's why I cant talk to you.
I find it hard to breath and talk without stuttering when you are near.
I'm afraid that you'll break my heart.
And that you'll break it so much that it takes months to rebuild it.