Five Stages

Chapter 1: Denial

It was a pretty tough pill to swallow.

Ian didn't even bother trying.

Chapter 1: Denial

Ian scratched his head with his pencil as his pale blue eyes glared down at his textbook. He then glanced over to his assignment and realized he hadn't even finished the first sentence on number one. "God, I frickin' hate word problems," he muttered, flipping his pencil around and erasing the sentence he spend twenty minutes working on for the third time. He looked over to the clock on his nightstand. Four forty-five. Not as late as I thought. His thoughts were drifting to and fro when he suddenly found himself wondering what Anthony was up to.

He envisioned Anthony at his computer listening to some sweet ass music he downloaded from Napster while playing a round of Halo and chugging Mt. Dew. He wished he were with him hanging out too. Ian fondly recalled coming over to Anthony's house in the evenings, ordering pizza and watching movies for a while because his mother didn't want to fuss with dinner sometimes. It was really nice, too. Anthony's mom loved having him over so he didn't think calling him up for a sleepover would be such a bad idea. They haven't had one in a few weeks so of course Anthony would agree to one! Ian scooted himself off the messy bed and searched around his room for his flip phone but couldn't find it anywhere. Dammit, I’ll have to use the house phone, he silently cursed in defeat as he walked out into the living room where his mother was folding the linens.

"Hey mom, I'm gonna stay at Anthony's tonight," he casually mentioned as he made his way toward the home phone to call him. “Is Anthony's mother okay with that?” She asked in her usual concerned motherly way. Ian's mother always asked him the same question and the answer was always “yes” but he always ended up asking Anthony's mother's permission anyway because he was raised to be somewhat respectful to adults, despite his occasional troublesome attitude when he didn’t think her rules were fair. “I was just gonna call right now so Anthony could ask her,” he answered back, picking up the receiver and dialing Anthony's number. Ian's mother nodded and continued to fold the sheets and place them in the laundry basket glancing up at her son as he dialed Anthony's number.

He let his mind wander as he listened to the ringing on the other end of the receiver. Ian thought about class the other day as he waited, the stupid homework, the track practice...

His mind drifted back to that dreadful asthma attack as he struggled to find that damn little piece of plastic and metal that he couldn't survive without when such an attack struck. It was painful and humiliating having to run off from practice just to breathe easier but he knew it would be even more demeaning if the team saw their star player in such a weakened terrible state. Anthony always told him he shouldn't care what others thought of him and letting his cross country team know he has asthma wasn't really that big of a deal. He didn't believe it though but he would always sigh a "Yeah..." then return to his normal secretive behavior the next meet.

Anthony always tried cheering him up one way or another. It was that really admirable quality of his that made him glad they were close enough friends enough to confide in each other at times. Sure, there was Andy, Jake, and Floyd to hang out with too, but Anthony was different. Anthony had this kind of allure to him, this infectiously warm smile that always made him smile too, no matter how bad everything seemed. He couldn't remember having a best friend as close as he was and he regretted that they didn’t try becoming closer friends during middle school. Ian remembered how they would talk and hang out a bit after they met in the sixth grade as part of the group but nothing really transpired until high school when Ian's parents finally told him he needed to either start paying rent or move out. His mother, of course, was the more lenient one but his dad didn't want Ian to be spending all his time on the computer while fiddling around with that damn camera of his. So he was stuck with the dilemma most teenage boys his age were in: No money, no job, and definitely no car.