How to save a life

3

Dazai gently ran his hand through your hair. He loved doing it when the both of you were back in the mafia. Long days and endless fighting ended when you laid on top of him and let him play with your hair. Your hair was a lot longer back then. It reached your lower back and gave you an angelic view. You had shortened your hair now. You slowly raised your head. Massaging your head, playing with your hair. These two things quickly put you to sleep. "Dazai..-" you groaned before he cut you off.

"Y/N, can you please come here?" he asked.

He motioned you to sit between his legs, with him on the bed. Nodding, you placed your back against his chest and let him nuzzle his head at the crook of your neck. He also wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you flush against his body. It would have been a lie had someone told you that your face wasn't red now. Dazai always had this effect on you. Gently, you placed one hand on his head and gently tugged on his hair.

"Mhm," he mumbled.

You giggled.

"Y/N, do you mind if I kiss you?" he asked.

That question was out of the blue, and you were unprepared for it. You turned to look at him, turning redder by the second. When you turned to face him, you realized his chin was resting on your shoulder, and your faces were so close that your noses were touching. Blushing, you turned your cheek to him and looked away.

"I-I don't mind," you replied.

Dazai smiled. He smiled that genuine soft smile that your heart flipped for every time. If only you had seen that smile tonight. It was for you, only you exclusively. Dazai gently placed soft kisses on your cheek. He never moved away from your face or closer to your lips. You thanked your heavens for that.

"Y/N... do you mind if I kiss your neck?" he whispered.

This man was going to be the death of you... You nodded to let him know you were okay with him kissing you. He gently made his way towards your neck. He kept exploring different parts of your neck to find that one spot he craved. He happened to pass by that spot, and when he kissed you gently there, your reaction was amusing for him. You straightened your back and tugged harder on his hair. Amused, Dazai gently started nibbling on that spot, enough to leave a slightly reddish patch. He licked, kissed, biting and lovingly massaged that single spot with his tongue while you tugged harder and harder at his locks.

"Can I touch you, koi~" he sang into your ears.

All you could manage to do was whimper. Dazai finding your sweet spot and sending you on a sensory overdrive was unimaginable for you. His calling you love was on another level. Dazai gently moved his hand below your top and quickly slid his hand under it. Just as his fingers touched your naked waist, you opened your eyes. You spun away from him and stood before him, tugging at the bottom of your top. Dazai's eyes held a mixture of hurt and confusion. Had he done something that would hurt you? Worse, had he hurt you? These were the only questions in Dazai's mind, and he wanted answers. He looked at you, waiting for a response.

"I-I'm fat, Dazai. I'm ugly. You won't like what lies below these clothes." you said.

When Dazai heard these words, he was seething in anger. Who had told you, the prettiest woman he had set his eyes upon, ugly? And how many times had they told you that you had started believing it? You were a fairly confident person. Someone who would often call themselves cute or come up with a quirky remark every time someone said something nasty. 6 years of isolation had turned you into something else. Seeing you try to hide in front of him pissed him off even further.

"You're not ugly, Y/N. You're not fat. You're beautiful. You're so fucking beautiful." he said and opened his arms for you.

His open arms waited for you to enter them. But all you could do at that moment was stand there and hope he wouldn't hate you. The more you pondered on this, the more you felt uncomfortable. Eyes set on the floor, you had nothing to say for yourself. Gently, you felt Dazai's warmth again. He was wrapping his hands around you. Pressing his lips to your forehead, he pulled you closer to himself. Your arms automatically wrapped around him. Soft, sweet nothings were whispered into your ear as Dazai led you into the bed. Just as you got into the bed, you felt the sun rays trying to peep from the binds. You lay on the soft mattress as Dazai just sat next to you. The moment of silence was broken when your phone rang.

"Alarm - 7 am," it said.

Dazai got up and went to get changed. The night sure had been long, but a new day lay ahead of both of you. Something you both had to make the best of, or you could probably just settle for surviving the day. You wished you could just lay in bed and not get up. Ain't it funny how brittle humans are? They build such huge walls not to let anyone hurt their fragile hearts. But then again, they are such hypocrites. They tear down the walls they built only for the person they think can make them feel better. Once all the walls are ripped apart, and the person breaks the one thing considered so fragile, people ponder the entire course of events. They wonder what they start with. Should they start by picking up the broken pieces? Or should they start by building up the walls? It is confusing to have a broken heart and not know what to do. Picking up the scattered pieces means they can let anyone enter their comfort zone. But when you build up the walls, you leave some parts of your heart unreachable areas. So what is it that you decide? Maybe letting a few pieces of your heart disappear into the abyss is okay. Isn't it? Dazai walked out of the room, and comfortable silence evaded the room once again. You flipped around. The bed was too comfortable to resist sleep. As you fell asleep, you heard the door crack open and Dazai leave. With that, you fell into a deep, deep slumber.