Crush

Hate

Asher

Sunlight.

There was bright sunlight.

I opened one eye. And immediately shut it again.

It was so bright out there.

I rolled over onto my back, stretched my arms out to the side .... And hit something warm.

What?

My eyes flew open and I snapped my head to the side.

Oliver.

Lying next to me.

Sleeping.

Wait ....

Memories of last night came flooding back to me.

Oh yeah. I remembered it now.

Pulling my hand back, I turned on my side and took in his sleeping form.

The sunlight was streaming through the curtains of his bedroom window, casting a soft light over him. Gorgeous. He looked almost ... angelic.

The sun lit up his blonde hair, making it look golden. The smooth surface of his skin was illuminated by the sun's rays. The features on his face were soft in his sleep, serene. His breathing was deep. Even. Heavy.

Smiling, I traced my fingers gently across my lips, remembering what I did last night.

The kiss.

I admit it. I did it on purpose. Made out that I was sleepy so it wouldn't be too weird. And because I was a coward.

Last night, he had been so close and looked so beautiful against the backdrop of the moonlight. He was irresistible. I couldn't help myself. I wanted to feel him, taste him, smell him. I wanted to tell him, out loud, how I was feeling. I wanted him to want me back.

I wanted to tell him how he made me feel. The hole that had plagued my life over the last year was shrinking, clearing my head, showing me what I wanted in my life, who I wanted. I was finally working out my feelings, working out who I was. And it was because of him. He filled the emptiness, like the final puzzle piece was clicking into place, right where it should be.

He should be with me. Be a bigger part of my life.

I just needed to show him how much he meant to me.

He stirred slightly.

I closed my eyes quickly, tried to even out my own breathing in case he woke up.

He mumbled. Sighed deeply. Settled back down.

Opening one eye again, I stole another glance at him.

Still out.

Still handsome.

I just wanted to stay like this.

Lying next to him.

Warm. Peaceful.

He stirred again and I closed my eyes.

The comforter moved.

Behind my closed eyelids, I felt him moving about, yawn, stretch, stop.

A sharp intake of breath. Shock?

I felt his eyes on me.

Should I open my own?

No.

Pretend to be asleep.

I couldn't face him.

I wanted him ... but couldn't actually tell him.