Crush

Mom

Oliver

Standing on the driveway, I waved as Asher drove off in his car, his arm sticking out of the window to wave back at me, the lights on his car lighting a path against the darkening sky.

Grinning to myself, I sauntered back to the porch, thoughts of him filling my mind. The brush of his lips against mine, the warmth of his body pressed up against me.

The feel of him inside me.

I felt ... happy. I'd spent most of the day with him and ... I wanted more. More time. More touches. More kisses.

Just more.

Besides feeling happy, I think I also felt ... relieved.

So relieved.

Never really thought about coming out to so many people in such a short space of time. I'd envisioned coming out to be exhausting, scary, full of judgement, repetitive. All emotions repeated again and again each time I told my truth. Instead, I'd found out two guys are just like me and I realised that my dad was the best.

But ... Would everyone else be accepting?

What will everyone else think?

What about Jenson?

I had known that guy most of my life ... would he still want to hang out with me?

And ... there was still Chloe to think of.

If I broke it off with Chloe, would I be allowed to be out and about with Asher? Would we still have to hide? I mean, how would it look if I'd broken up with Chloe then went walking out hand in hand with Asher?

Crap.

Walking into the house, I slammed the front door, hard, still thinking about Chloe. Stomping my way down the hallway, my blood ran icy cold as I thought about her. Her pretty face and lovely smile. Her happy personality. Her whole life.

I was such a dick to have been going out with her for so long. We had never really announced our relationship to anyone. Instead, everyone had just assumed we were together. The fact that we went out a couple of times, met up without all of our friends ... no wonder everyone thought we were together.

It was all my fault.

I'd led her on. I let everyone think what they wanted. I never owned up to what I really was.

Halting my angry steps, I leaned forward till my forehead hit the wall in the hallway while happiness wrapped in guilt started to strangle my heart and twist my stomach. I pressed my hands against the cool paint of the wall.

I needed to break things off with Chloe, but how would I do it?

I wanted to be with Asher, but just how open could I be about it?

Fuck.

I just ... wanted to scream. Cry. Just ... something.

A hand started rubbing my back in circular motions.

Dad.

I felt his other hand squeeze my bicep.

He was here. And he was comforting me ... again.

Tears formed in my eyes.

I just ... didn't know what to do.

"I just ..." I started saying out loud, not sure what I was actually going to say.

"It's okay, Ollie," Dad said quietly. "Everything's going to be okay."

"How do you know that?" I sniffed. "I can't be with Chloe because of Asher and I can't be with Asher because of Chloe."