Memories & Recollections
Our memories are like pieces of paper
So to say
We can write down what we want to...
Over and over again... until the pages fill up
Then flip
There's another blank page left for us to -
-fill them with joy...happiness... tears... sadness...
There's not enough time for us to write all of them down...
However if one day we want to remember what is forgotten...
We can turn back a page...
...
"Unni, do you remember what happened yesterday?"
I could say yes but maybe I should say no. Different words meant different things and I have no idea what to say. My heart wasn't dependent on my mouth; I couldn't express what I'm going to say. It was like a tattler's tale and still - like many people would say, kids loved these tales - I know I do - but somehow I couldn't really bring myself to tell this one.
"Can you?"
She asked again, my hands went into a fold - on top of my lap - she stared at me... the girl... in short pink dress with a cute Mickey Mouse headband. What am I suppose to say... she's... she's...
She's younger than me...
"Jessica unni... can you?"
If I said yes will you come back to me?
...
Everything was always about work and work; I remember I said and lived by that - I remember how selfish I was when we're together. I didn't take your call, I didn't send you messages, but still you're always there... in front of me... with roses... and chocolates...
You knew I like chocolates...
"Jessica, Happy Valentines"
You would walk slowly from the door over to me and would give me the roses and settled on the office table with your leg cross over the other...
You would lean down and kiss me...
"Let's go on a date"
I was too busy to say yes...
So all I'm able to say was...
"No"
You nodded, left the chocolates and roses... and walked away...
Why do you have to be so understanding about everything?
...
The next day came, and here I am still in the office with documents splayed out all over my desk... crammed with numbers and charts... I still didn't know what I could do with these things.
Because of these documents -- my reason for everything -- I couldn't spend time with you. Yet when I could easily reject work... but I didn't do it... instead I would say no to you...
My heart partly knows why - Though I should not say such words - but did it hurt you? My selfish self has completely taken control over my actions.
I should have gone on the date yesterday, shouldn't I?
I shouldn't regret refusing you, should I?
Knock knock
I hate it when people interrupt my thoughts, but oh well, work calls...
