Home for the holidays

Chapter four- Lisa

When I got home I was instantly greeted by my two brothers. They go up to me straight away engulfing me in a hug. They start nattering about how my flight was and what airline I took before I could even get a word in. For some reason I tell them about the woman that bashed into me spilling my coffee everywhere. I don't know why but I haven't been able to get her out of my head. Probably because she ruined my favourite sweatshirt. However they just have questions about how she looks but that was the last thing I was thinking about. To me she looks like a coffee spilling asshole. What? It was my favourite sweat shirt I'm allowed to be upset even if she did have the most beautiful eyes I've ever laid my subpar ones upon. I shouldn't even be thinking about that all I should be thinking of is how to try and salvage my hoodie that she ruined!

"Hey Lisa its good to see you! It feels like forever," my brother Mark says as he pulls away from the embrace. Mark is tall way taler then me and has a similar hair color to my dads before he wen't grey. It's a light brown almost blond in some lights but not quite there. He's extremely strong with wide shoulders the complete contrast of Simon who is more slender. Simon is shorter and only just taller than me, his hair is dark and curly like my mom's. 

"Yeah I've really missed you guys." Mark and Simon both return huge grins. Mark is older than me by two years so we grew up close. Even when I wasn't as interested in 'boys' toys he always figure out a way to incorporate my Barbies with his trucks. He's also always been my number one supporter and the first person I came out to. When I did he said it made sense and since then addressed me as my chosen name and pronouns. He did say that he thought there was always a part of me that was hidden and he's happy that I now get to be myself. Simon on the other hand had no inkling I'm trans. He's five years younger so growing up we weren't that close because of the age gap. That doesn't mean I didn't feel protective of him because I definitely did and helped him with a few bullies back in the way. However Simon was last to know, we hadn't been close because by the time I figured out I had gender dysphoria I did my best to be a closed book because then I wouldn't get hurt. At least that's what I'd thought. Instead I'd caused a rift between my brother and I. Once I came out to him it wasn't all fine from there, he was supportive but we still weren't close. With time though and his help with me recovering from my surgeries we managed to bond along the way and got a whole lot closer.

What I didn't expect when I came out though was that people would feel open enough to ask my sexuality at any given moment. But me liking girls has never changed, for some reason there's this view that if someone transitions into a woman they instantly like men but that is not the case. You can still be a lesbian and be trans its pretty simple. Now that took a bit more convincing from my part but once I'd explained it in a lot more detail then I'd like to my loved ones caught on and never questioned it again. 

*** 

Going up to my room I placed my bags down quickly not wanting to spend another moment away from my family. If they didn't live in such a small town then I'd love to spend my life around them. However I can't help but love the city and everything that comes with it. For one is is so much more convenient to get to places. Like I can just walk down the street to get on the subway but here I'd have to plan it all out by car. Although this town has the nostalgic feel where everyone knows each other its just not for me and the idea of everyone knowing who I am is anxiety inducing to say the least. I rush downstairs as quickly as I can.

Heading to the living room I can see my mom ordering our favourite takeaway and my brothers searching through films to watch. I go over to them to share my input as they've already started arguing. In the end we all end up conflicted so mom says for each of us to choose and we'll make it a movie marathon. To make it as fair as possible she said we'd start from the oldest to the youngest making Simon complain like a little kid. 

After we're all settled we spend the evening like that together. It has honestly been the best I've felt in forever, I forgot how much I love being around my family. The evening was going fine even better than that maybe until my mom mentions one of the reasons I came back for Christmas. The annual Christmas party. Don't get me wrong its not that I don't want to go I'm just absolutely terrified. I haven't been to one of these parties since I was a teen right before I left this town. So the town hasn't seen me since then. To make it worse I have no idea what to wear or how to style my hair. Although I've been publicly a woman for years now I just never really caught onto how to style hair. Yes I can straighten it but anything else is past my expertise. As I know my mom will understand and I feel safe with my other close family knowing I voice my lack of skill to my mom mostly. However this just caused her to get excited about a mother daughter day out and I've got to say though I'm nervous of being in this town I am excited. It's what I always wanted growing up to do these types of activities. So, after a little persuasion I say yes. To my horror-- or delight-- she then lists off everything we're going to do together. Apparently this has turned into a whole makeover and my mom claiming I'm in dire need of a haircut (I had one like three months ago). She also started saying about how we should get our nails done together because her best friend Shelly owns the shop. As well as the necessities like buying a dress. She then goes into a rant about her being so exited and how she always wanted a daughter (my brothers weren't happy with that statement). 

By the end of the night we had watched all three movies and my mom and I came up with a plan on our day out. Although I am still absolutely shitting myself I can't help but feel joy as I get to spend some one on one time with my mom.  Once we've finished we all head off to bed. 

***

After brushing my teeth and overall getting ready for bed I settle into my old room. It has been changed quite a bit in the past few years. Most if not all of my old toys have been packed away and stored into boxes. The overall room always makes me feel a bit down. Like I always remember how I used to feel in this room. As if the color of the walls showed my mental state or something. Maybe I'll change it when I'm here. Reset my mind a little I guess. My brain goes through all the different things I could do before I head into a dreamless sleep.