April F-Uno...?

The Uno incident.

yeah i don't even know man
have a very late april fools :qohwink:
i wanted to try somethimg new so heres the pov of some rando
very short meow

~

Alright, so picture this.

It's April 1st. Already a bad start, but it gets worse.

You end up at some random-ass Site you haven't ever been assigned to because it's the April 1st SCP Foundation official Uno night, and your facility was too specialized for one anomaly, and not only that, there were barely enough other researchers there for them to host an Uno night.

Yeah. Actually, I'm not sure why I was even invited. They sent me an email, "blah blah Site-17 blah blah location," and for some reason I don't expect the worst and showed up.

I don't even like Uno that much- GAHH-

Sorry, card was thrown in my direction. Rage does that I guess.

Here's the situation. Berg is out cold on the floor after being knocked out for almost burning a deck out of rage.

Shaw is— and I don't even know why he's here, since I know damn well he's normally at 19— Overdramatically commentating the current game between some of them. And you know what I mean by them. The horsemen. The OGs. Those staff. The guys. The traffic light trio minus Shaw himself.

Oh, shit, Gears just called Uno. I'm kind of invested now, actually. I'm pretty sure all of them are cheating in some way. Draki is obviously using the butterflies, Clef is taking advantage of his third eye, and Gears? I'm not sure how, but he probably is.

There's also Glass. He's just hiding cards when nobody is looking, and I'm not sure how nobody has noticed. Creepy. Also, Shaw clearly doesn't give a fuck about the cheating. Fair enough, it's more entertaining.

Anyways, Gears was threatened with a plus 2 and stacked it. Oh yeah, and, uh, he's got like 3 cards now. Woops. Wait. Ok. JESUS CHRIST. Is that like a plus 6 at this point? It- IT JUST KEEPS GOING?!

That's a plus 12 now ending at Gears. Ouch. Any normal person would be- RIGHT OK HE JUST SLAMMED THE TABLE AND KNOCKED OVER THE TWO CARD PILES. WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST.

Ok Gears is- Yeah he just woke up Iceberg.. Oookay yup they are just heading out... Fair enough.

I don't actually know who's winning right now, uhh...

Yeah it's Glass. Not that surprised.

Now it's getting real. I doubt there won't be any violence... I also think I saw one of Kondraki's butterflies eat a card. Why...?

Clef put down a red 6 and Kondraki is giving him a death stare. Yup, he's gotta pull cards- oh no what is this bad luck- 7 FUCKING CARDS?? Clef has his creepy grin. Someone is gonna die today and I don't think it'll be the immortal in the room.

Glass is on like.... 3 cards right now. Clef has 6 and I'm not sure about Draki at this point.

Just noticed Clef has a plus 4. Uh oh.

Glass plays a blue 3.

And.... Yeah, Clef played the plus four OKAY YEAH NOPE HE JUST GOT A PUNCH TO THE GUT! CLEF IS JUST LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF WHAT THE FUCK!? I think Draki is holding in a laugh too  I knew something was up with those two.

Yeah, I don't know if staying here is good for my health.

I think I'm going to drive home, get drunk off my ass, and try to forget this ever happened. Maybe I'll ask for amnestics. Yeah. I'll do that.

By the way, Glass won.