Gone (Day and Itt story)

Lost

Itt walks down and to the kitchen, he knows there is food because his friend had a housekeeper take care of the house. After Itt got the deed to the house he kept paying the housekeeper to take care of the house.

This way Itt didn't have to worry about the house and when he would need it there would be food in stock.

Itt isn't a good cook but he can make rice and there are some vegetables he can eat. Day taught him how to do this for when Day had to leave for a couple of days. Most of the time Itt would go to his mom or Night would cook for him but he wanted to take care of himself.

After making the food Itt sits down at de table, he isn't really hungry but he hadn't eaten anything after last night so he knew he had to.

After eating something Itt feels tired so he walks to the bedroom. After taking a quick shower he lays down on the bed. The bed feels big and empty without Day next to him. He almost never sleeps alone the only exception being when Day is gone for work.

After turning a few times Itt gives up and turns on the lights. On the table next to the bed is a book. Itt is curious and picks it up. When he opens it he sees it's a diary and when he sees the name in the corner his eyes fill with tears. It's the diary from his friend who died.

09-02-2018

Today we came to the house again. Itt is sitting in the garden he is so pretty. His eyes were red when he came to me a few hours ago. He told me he had a fight with someone but he didn't want to tell me with whom. He wanted to go to the house and of course I told him that we could go. I didn't ask him why he was upset and I figured that when he was ready he would talk about it with me.

Maybe today is the day that I can tell him how much I love him. Maybe today he will understand my feelings and maybe just maybe he feels the same about me. Would it be possible for him to feel the same? I'm a guy and so is he isn't it wrong what I feel for him? How can the love that I feel for him be wrong. I would die for him if I had to, Itt is the most important person for me.

13-05-2018

I told my mom that I don't want to go on a date with some girl she found for me. I told her that I don't want to marry anyone because I don't feel that way about girls. I thought she would get angry but she turned around and walked away without saying anything. I was so scared to tell her and she didn't even say anything to me.

This was a few days back but she is still not speaking to me. I feel like I am wrong for being this way. Why did I have to fall in love with a guy? Why can't I be normal like the rest of my friends and family? My mom would have found me a nice girl that I could marry and I would have given her grandchildren like she wished for. But instead I have this disease and I'm afraid that it's slowly killing me.

23-05-2018

My mom told me to leave the house. She doesn't want someone like me living with my brother and sister. She is afraid that I will give them the wrong idea and to be honest I can't blame her. I told Itt that I was going to the house and I asked him if he wanted to come. He didn't ask me anything and just packet his bags and got in my car.

I'm so happy that I have someone like Itt with me, I love him more each day and I really want to tell him how I feel. I'm just so scared that he will act the same way my mom did. I don't want to lose Itt so it's better that I just keep quiet about my feelings.

01-06-2018

The days are getting darker, I don't know how to laugh or how to be happy anymore. I don't know how to love anymore. I don't see why I should stay here isn't it better to just leave.

The only reason why I'm staying is because of Itt. He makes me feel like he is a small light in the darkness. I'm scared for the moment when this light will go out. For the moment I will be al alone in the dark. He knows that there is something going on. He asks me if I'm okey and I lie to him. I don't want to worry him because I don't like to see his eyes get red with tears.

My feelings for him are still there but I buried them afraid to lose the only good thing in my life.

08-07-2018

Itt if you read this is lost the fight. I'm so sorry for not being with you anymore. But I want you to know how much I loved you. You where my everything and maybe in a next life we will find each other again.

I wanted to explain to you why I did this.

A few months ago I told my mom that I don't like girls and that I don't want to marry someone I don't have feelings for. She didn't talk to me for weeks and when she did she told me I had a choice. I could get married or I could leave the house and she wouldn't recognize me as her son anymore. I decided to leave, I still had this house only you know about.

The first view days it felt like I was alive again but that didn't last long. You had to go back home to your parents and I told you that I would stay here just a few days longer. You didn't know about my problems and I didn't tell you.

Itt I think the most important thing I wanted to tell you is that I loved you. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you earlier but I didn't want to lose you.

I'm sorry that I'm telling you this now after I'm gone. I'm sorry that I didn't have the courage to tell you when I was still there.

I hope you have a wonderful life a head of you and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I did

Goodbye Itt I love you and I will always keep loving you.

Itt feels his eyes sting with tears. He can't read any further because the letters are all blurry. He knew his friend liked him but he never knew how deep his love was or how difficult his life was. Itt puts the diary away and curls up on the bed. He can't stop crying about the friend and love he lost. He knows it's not fair to Day but he feels like his heart just broke in a million pieces.

After crying Itt falls asleep accosted and whit a pain in his heart I felt only once before when he thought Day left him after being shot.