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Chapter contains: Sexual themes and substance use of marijuana.
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Chapter 1 | "Amongst Love and Darkness in LA"

LA, CA
Wednesday, 4/11/85

Anxiety grips me again, like clockwork. It's not the good kind, the excited kind that used to hit before a party or a big event. That was back when Los Angeles wasn't falling apart, thanks to the sicko on the loose killing innocent people.

I've officially moved on to nineteen. Not exactly how I imagined starting this year. There was a time when I felt like everything was pointless, like I couldn't even bother to care. Depression had its hold on me back then, and nothing, no one, could pull me out. Except Danny. My twin brother, Daniel, understood. He'd been through his own rough patches, and we knew each other's darkness better than anyone else.

Sitting in English class, I try to tune out the chaos. Papers fly around like confetti, and the noise? It's grating. I already woke up in a foul mood, and the childish crap isn't helping.

"Would you please act your age?" I snap, unable to stop myself. My voice is sharp, mockingly polite, like a teacher scolding toddlers.

Two kids whip their heads around, flashing that annoying smirk like they're untouchable. Blood heats in my veins. They laugh, but I fake a smile back, trying to keep it together. Inside, I'm fuming. Normally, I'd have snapped by now, but I've been working on my anger. Ever since... well, ever since my dad left. Not that I ever knew him.

I laugh quietly, my shoulders shaking like some kind of psycho. But it works and they stop their antics.

The clock ticks down, and finally, the bell rings. I grab my bag, ready to bolt.

"Luna Rodriguez," I hear from behind me. I turn to see Mrs. Grant, my English teacher, standing at the front of the room with a marker in hand.

I approach, trying not to let my irritation show. "Yes?"

"You failed your test. Is everything okay?" she asks, all concerned.

I avoid her gaze, staring out the window instead. The sky is soft today—a mix of pinks, purples, and blues. For a moment, it lifts my mood.

"I'm fine, miss. I'll do better next time," I sigh, tired of the whole thing.

She looks like she's about to say more but stops, searching for the right words. "How about a quick walk to the library before you go?"

Of course, I can't say no, so I nod.

"I'll meet you there. I just need to use the bathroom," I say.

She smiles, letting me go.

In the bathroom, I fix my makeup and brush my hair back, trying to make myself look less annoyed. A couple of girls walk in, joints already rolled in their hands.

"You look really pretty, Luna," one of them says as they walk out.

Thanks," I reply. It's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today.

The library isn't far. Mrs. Grant is already by the books when I push the doors open.

"There you are!" she says, smiling.

"Here I am," I mutter, dropping into a chair.

She scans the shelves. "Would you like to pick out a book?"