Loss of Tempo

Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

Adjusting to the school ran for weeks. At sa ilang linggo na iyon ay si Haya o Hyacinth lang ang lagi kong nakakausap. She introduced me to her other friends but I was too shy around them so she wouldn't impose on hanging out with them. I also enjoyed being alone. I was used to it so it didn't matter to me that much. 

Also, Haya was loud to start with. Kumbaga, parang hindi isang tao lang ang nakakausap ko. 

Everything was so foreign to me. From being homeschooled to actually experiencing studying in a school — I felt like I was lost. 

However, I could say that I was enjoying every moment of it. I love the strand that I had chosen. Before applying to the school, I searched for every strand that would fit me — not the one that would fit with my chosen career. 

I was still skeptical about what I wanted. Ang gusto ko lang, maranasan ang buhay sa labas ng sariling tahanan. Kaya pinili ko iyong strand na 'yon kasi sabi nila, makakatulong ito para mawala ang hiya ng isang tao. Humanities and Social Sciences strand would shape my social skills and help me overcome my fear in public. 

Sa ngayon, nahihirapan pa rin ako.

"Kailan ka magsisimula i-manage ang volleyball team, Mess?" Haya asked. 

We were sitting in a bench. Kakatapos lang namin mag-break kaya hinihintay na lang namin tumunog ang bell. Panay ang ngiti ng babae sa mga bumabati sa kaniya kapag may dumadaan. She was popular to the students. Iyon ang una kong napansin sa ilang linggo ko siyang nakakasama. Maybe being the president of the student government gave her that card. 

I also wouldn't deny that she was really nice and hardworking. 

"Sabi ni coach, next month daw . . . " It was an improvement that I was no longer stuttering while talking. But it was only because it was Haya. "Hindi raw muna ako magiging manager agad . . . assistant muna. I-tra-train ako ng manager nila bago ito mag-college . . . " 

Tumango siya. "Good luck talaga beh sa mga athletes doon, naku," aniya. "Sakit sa ulo 'yan. Pero alam ko naman na kaya mo. Tatagan mo lang ang keps mo." 

I looked at her with a confused look. "K-Keps?" 

She stared back at me with a funny look on her face. "Huh?! Pati ba iyon ay hindi mo alam?!" 

Umiling ako. "N-No . . . I am s—" 

"Puro ka sorry beh wala ka namang ginagawang mali," putol niya sa 'kin. "'Yung keps beh, alam mo 'yon, yung flower." 

I gasped. We have . . . flowers? My mind went somewhere as I realized that someday, a flower would bloom on the surface of my body. Uncertainty grew within me. What if they get bigger and bigger? What would it look like? 

"Like dandelions?" 

Humagalpak siya ng tawa. "Oo na lang, beh." 

I guess, it was a way to motivate me. 

When the bell rang, we immediately went back to our room. Naroon na rin ang iba pa naming kaklase. Sa dulo ako nakaupo, sa tabi ng bintana. Because I was a transferee, and they already started classes, may designated seats na sila. Haya was sitting in the front row among the others who were smart. Samantalang ako, pinili kong umupo sa sulok kung saan wala masyadong kumakausap sa akin. 

A lot of our classmates tried talking to me. But it seemed like I failed them because I stutter a lot and didn't give a contribution to their conversations. I was awkward, I know. Nang lumipas na, wala na masyadong kumakausap sa akin. Parang naging multo ako sa gitna ng buhay na buhay na dagat ng tao. I knew it would be hard for me to blend in but I would try my best to overcome it.