PICS and IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

37. The Chaos

"So this is how it is then?" Frank says looking between me and Tony. 

I want to laugh at the accusation. I probably would've felt guilty for being here with Tony and Raylan even if I didn't come here with them, if it weren't for the fact that Frank's ex wasn't standing right next to him. 

"Yeah, this is how it is," Raylan says stepping in front of me. 

Frank scoffs, "You must be Raylan, the guy whose room she visits often." 

Before Raylan says anything, I push him out of my way. This is not a fight I'm going to let anyone else take the pleasure of. 

"That's rich coming from the guy who lets his ex visit his room often and doesn't have the guts to admit it to my face," I say.  

"That was in the past. Right now you and I had a deal," Frank says. 

"That I stay away from the guys and you away from her. Guess we are both not interested in keeping the deal. So yeah, like you said, this is how it is." 

"What do you mean?" he says. 

"It's over between us." 

Frank looks angry. "I didn't realize you were such a bitch," he says. 

Raylan takes a step towards but I push him back again. "A bitch who is done with a guy who is still fucking his ex. Now leave before I punch you in the face," I tell Frank.  

Frank laughs. "Me fucking her? Oh don't act like you're not sleeping with him," he says, pointing at Raylan. 

Raylan pushes me back and steps in front of me again. I don't know who's annoying me the most right now Frank or him. 

"You're right, she's sleeping with me and not with you. So that should tell you who she's really into. Clinging to a girl who's into someone else is just pathetic, man. So why don't you fucking leave now, and never ever show your face in front of her," Raylan says.  

Frank's friends grab Frank before he could reach Raylan, and start to drag him away. "She's not worth it," I hear Bianca say to Frank with a smile on her face. 

After they leave, Raylan turns back to me and sees me glaring at him. 

"What? I was helping you," he says. 

"How could you?" I tell Raylan. He looks confused at me. "How could you do this to me, Raylan? You know, I don't give a damn about what Frank said, I never trusted him. But I trusted you! I fucking trusted you the most—" 

"Ellie, I —" 

"You fucking made me out to be a cheater! You humiliated me in front of everyone! Did you fuck me? Tell me, did you fucking fuck me? Why the fuck you said you did?" I say. 

Raylan looks a little scared and hurt realizing what he had done, and the fact that he didn't realize that until now makes me even more angry. 

"You know what? It's not just him and me, you and I, we're done too. We are so fucking done," I say. 

"Ellie," Raylan says reaching out for my hand. I take my hand back. "Don't you fucking touch me," I say. 

Becca holds my shoulders and takes me away from the place, while Tony holds back Raylan from coming after me. 

Becca and I get into our car. She starts driving as tears start flowing down my cheeks. 

It didn't even hurt this much when I knew Frank and I were over, as much as it hurts now because of Raylan. 

It's like what Finnigan said yesterday. I trust Raylan. I trust him the most. 

And he just broke my trust today. 

These past few months I thought Raylan and I had become friends, like those people who constantly fight with each other but are always there when the other needs them. 

But I realize I've been the only one thinking this way. Raylan doesn't care about me at all. 

———

Later in the day, Raylan climbs into my room from the window. I refused to open the front door for him. 

"Ellie, come on, I never meant to hurt you like that," he says. 

"And yet you did. You don't give a damn about me." 

"I don't give a damn about you? Oh, that's just fucking great. Nobody cares about you as much as I do, and you would know that if you just fucking stop treating me like the enemy every damn time!" 

"Don't you dare put this on me," I say, standing up from my desk. "You were the one who embarrassed me in front of everyone, especially the guy who was already hell bent of turning me into the liar! And you just went ahead and helped him. I really... I really fucking trusted you, dammit. Whether it's because of those damn photos I have of you or not, I thought we'd gotten closer these past days—" 

"Ell—" 

"But I now feel stupid for thinking like that. You're never going to change. And I'm done hoping you will. I'll delete those photos—" 

"Ellie, do—" 

"And if you don't want to keep them, I'll keep the kittens at Mr. Finnigan's—" 

"El—" 

"I just want to be done with you!" 

"Ellie, j—" 

"I don't want to hear you anymore." 

"El—" 

"I don't want to even look at your face." 

"Ell—" 

"We are done. We are so fucking done." 

"El—" 

"There's nothing between us anymore!" 

Raylan grabs the back of my head and crashes his lips on mine. 

Stunned, it takes a moment to realize what's happening as his lips greedily kiss mine. 

And then comes the anger. I push him away and slap his cheek. 

Raylan looks back at me angrily. 

"Get out," I tell him. 

"El—" 

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" I shout. 

"I'll go. But we're far from fucking done," he says and leaves out of the window. 

My breathing escalates. All the tears and sadness from before are gone. All I feel is this scorching anger towards Raylan. 

Why am I the only one suffering? Why am I the only one with a broken heart and relationship? Why am I the only one falsely painted as a cheater? 

I can't be the only one to bear it. 

The anger begins to boil inside my heart. 

I return to my table and pick up the phone. With trembling fingers I look for the photos. I select them and attach them to a new message. 

I send it to Tony. 

End of chapter 

A/N — Until tomorrow, dear reader 💕