The Wrong Soulmate (BTS OT7)

Chapter 3.6-Yoongi

A quick note to my real time readers, the previous chapter (3.5-Jimin) was previously a temporary authors note.  That note has now been replaced by a full chapter, so please make sure you don't miss it if you are re-joining reading us now.

------------------

At dinner Jimin shared the story of his interactions with Yoona earlier in the day. It had already been decided that I would spend the evening with Yoona so I was intrigued and wondered if I might also be able to draw her out of her shell a bit more as she was starting to interact.

Yoona was often quite tired right after meals so I carried her to my bedroom to lay down for a bit. Normally I would snuggle up behind her as the big spoon or I'd lay on my back and invite her to rest on my chest, but today I tried something different. I laid down next to her face to face so I could look into her eyes.

It came as no surprise when she avoided eye contact, so I intertwined our fingers together and rested my foreheads against her. Then I opened myself to the bond and began to feel for her. As I'd experienced over the last few days her bond connection was tightly muted. But I wanted to see if I might make a bit of headway if I pressed, just with a little nudge, against her.

With a gentle squeeze to her hand I closed my eyes and allowed my feelings of peace and contentment to snake over to her. This time instead of pulling back when I reached her closed off wall, I lingered, gently caressing my emotions against the barrier.

And then, almost so subtle I didn't notice it, there came the slightest bend in her wall. With an undeniable smile, I gently sent out fingers of emotional warmth to massage against the wall, seeing if she might consider letting me in.

I felt her hand stiffen in mine but then, so slowly I barely noticed it, I felt the smallest lifting of the veil. It was almost like I could see her terrified eyes peeking from under the curtain trying to determine if it was safe. Not wanting to overwhelm her I held back, just allowing my emotions to hover right next to the open space hoping she might be compelled to reach out to me.

First it was as soft as a fingertip's brush. An exploratory feeler. So I took the opportunity to gently brush back against her emotions. I could feel the underlying fear and anxiety so I lightly nudged her with a feeling of peace and security.

We went back and forth like this for several minutes. Yoona was not quite ready to be fully open to our bond while I held back from pushing in. Every once in a while Yoona would open her eyes to see me lovingly gazing at her, but she always quickly hid away again, not ready to let me fully see who she had become.

After a bit I felt Yoona firm up the barrier between us again, clearly exhausted from her efforts. I squeezed her closer and peppered her hair with kisses trying to communicate to her how proud I was. I would take as long as necessary for Yoona to be comfortable, but knowing that Yoona might be open to me meant everything.

—————————

It wasn't long before Yoona was asleep and Kookie came to collect her so she could be with him for the night. Of all of us he had become excessively territorial toward her, always telling us that he was most comfortable with her in his arms. And while we were committed to being more balanced in how we spent our time together, we were also quickly falling back into a pattern of babying Jungkook. Now with Yoona back we had two youngests to love and care for and seeing them comforted in each other's grasp seemed to bring joy to the rest of us.

After Yoona left I hopped out of my bed to find Namjoon. I had a few things I wanted to discuss with him about what the future might hold.

"Hey Joon-ah" I entered his room and quietly closed the door behind me. "Do you have a minute to chat?"

He shook his head yes and invited me to sit on the edge of his bed.

"I've been thinking, I know we don't really have a full handle on what happened with Yoona but I think it's time we consider what it would look like to get some support in place for what our relationship is going to look like in the future. We should think about what it would look like to get her some specialists who can help her and us move forward. I also think we should start pulling some resources together to figure out what happened to the baby so if we need to we can make a plan from there. Or maybe we could start even smaller and just buy the poor girl some of her own clothes to wear."

"But Hyung" Namjoon protested, "Yoona feels really far away from talking to a stranger. She won't even really communicate with us."

"I know Joon-ah, but I think she's getting closer. She's started to interact more, and I think she trusts us. I'm confident we're going to get there. What do you think?"

"Ok, I guess it can't hurt to at least have the conversations and start to consider what might be needed. I'll reach out in the morning and see what I can do."

"Thank you, I think it will be good to at least listen to our options. In the meantime I know it's been a lot for you this last week trying to keep everything together. How about I give you a shoulder massage? I know you always used to like that."

I knew I was being very forward considering I'd hardly talked to Namjoon the last few years, but being with Yoona reminded me how much joy can come from taking care of a soulmate. If anyone needed extra care it had to be Namjoon. Even with BTS on hiatus he was expected to try to lead our opinionated soul group, and I knew it must be absolute hell on his nerves.

After a pause I saw Joon give me a wry smile. "Sure Hyung, you really do have magical hands when it comes to giving massages. Must be all that piano playing gives you strong fingers."

Namjoon began to unbutton his shirt and came to lay across the bed. While Namjoon was able to put up an impenetrable wall when we weren't touching, I knew as soon as my fingers came in contact with the broad expanse of his naked back I'd likely feel his emotions leak through. I knew Joon wasn't that good at hiding his emotions, particularly after he started to relax and release some of his stress. And while I wanted to care for him and help release his muscle kinks, I really wanted to get inside his mind for a bit and see where he was at.

I was surprised that when I touched him I could almost immediately feel everything. I expected him to try to hide from me but he didn't. Letting his emotions flood out I could see them like they were laid out on display.

I saw his insecurity, a feeling of helplessness with the world out of his control. I saw his longing for something different, something better. I saw his tentativeness, not sure if he could trust again.

In return I showed him my own heart. I showed him my regret. My confidence that things could and would get better. And I gave him the briefest glimpse of the love that I still had hidden away in my heart that was hoping to be unleashed.

After about 10 minutes I broke into the silence. "Thanks for spending time with me Joon. We're going to figure this out together. Now rest, we've got a lot to figure out together starting tomorrow."