The Wrong Soulmate (BTS OT7)

Chapter 3.8-Yoona

The first two days I arrived I barely registered that I was somewhere new. I'd regressed so far inside myself that the world around me blurred together into one mass of other-ness.

But as time passed I began to realize that something was different. The arms that held me felt safe and gentle. I was receiving food and drink regularly and carefully being fed by hand. I was warm and cozy and someone was paying constant attention to my personal needs. Soft lips caressed my hair and temples but never forced me to give more. The soft cocoon of blankets and love was starting to melt my frozen core to open up to re-engage with the world.

Jungkook was the first one I noticed which at the time seemed odd considering he was the one I had known the least. But more than anyone he seemed to be by my side, offering the most consistent and passionate concern for me and my comfort. And I found myself drawn to him. While in the past his strength frightened me and caused me to avoid him, I now found those muscles made me feel secure. I would be protected from anything bad.

I knew I was deeply scarred from my time back with Hyunjin, both mentally and physically. It was hard to imagine ever getting past it. But during the days, weeks, and months of torture over the last four years I had decided that if I ever made it out alive and was reunited with my soulmates, I was going to try to trust them. Hyunjin was happy ruining my life, and it would probably make him happy to know I was miserable forever. The one small bit of revenge and closure I might have was to live a good and happy life with people who treated me right.

I knew my soulmates had a lot of questions and while there were parts of my story I wasn't quite ready to share, I was ready to try to share a little more. On the few occasions I had opened myself up to our shared bond I could feel how concerned and caring the guys were. That was one thing about being soulmates. I could at least tell if they meant me harm or well by feeling their emotions through our bond.

I was very weak but I decided that I would try to answer as many questions as I could today. I knew some answers would be hard for them to understand, but it was time to try.

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I was curled up on Jungkook's lap in the living room when I reached out and asked to see his phone. He gave me a look of surprise but immediately offered it to me, open and unlocked.

Thank you for taking care of me.

I knew he was watching me type, because his grip around me got tighter with each letter I wrote. I could feel his chest rumble as he hummed in response, covering my head with kisses.

I handed him back the phone with a nod of my head toward the device, trying to encourage him to write something back.

I love to take care of you. You are my baby girl.

My heart felt full and warm and I wanted to share it with him. I laid my hand on his forearm and with my eyes closed I started to carefully crack my impenetrable wall to open the bond. But after sensing him there I quickly shut it again. I reached back for his phone instead.

Can you step back in the bond? It's overwhelming.

With a confirming nod of his head he rubbed my back to encourage me to try again.

When I'd considered opening my barrier before one of my soulmates was always on the other side, waiting with a tidal wave of emotions. While I appreciated their excitement, I didn't have the strength to deal with that much at once. I needed a bit more space to take things slowly.

I could tell Jungkook was hanging back, waiting for me to approach him through the bond. Slowly I let the fingers of my emotions brush out to him and lightly skim across his own. I shared with him the gladness of being safe and the overwhelmingness of everything that had happened. I gave him just a peek at the sorrow and pain I'd experienced and a small glimpse of my hopefulness for the future.

I felt his emotions very gently wrap around mine expressing his thankfulness. Thankful that I was there. That I was reconnecting with him. That I was content in his arms.

We sat wrapped together physically and emotionally until I became too tired to stay awake. While Jungkook had started out tentatively in the bond, he became almost playful as we stayed connected. When he would slowly wrap around my emotions he would mimic the action by wrapping around my body, making me feel small in his embrace. Or he would find my tendrel of anxiety and almost completely enveloped it in his feeling of peacefulness while still giving me space to pull away, trying to show me through the bond that I could trust him and rely on him. I felt fully safe snuggled against his chest, my face buried in his neck, and it gave me a bit of confidence that maybe I could begin to heal with my soulmates support.

I slowly closed my bond while I drifted off to sleep. I stirred a bit as I felt him hold me even tighter to his chest and carry me to his room. After he gently laid me on his soft cloud of a bed I took the opportunity to reach out and stroke his cheek, thanking him for understanding me and where I was at. And as I fell back asleep, pressed close against his chest, I allowed myself a moment of pure happiness and hoped that there would be more to come.