I'm With The Band - Alex Turner

14 - Alexander

The slow summer months became a torture that Aubrey found she enjoyed. The kiss of alcohol from the countless drinks that filled the night. The silky sheets that Alex and she shared, often naked to not succumb to the lack of air conditioning in the hotels. The sweaty, breathless hugs they shared after each performance. The quick glances and exchanges not going unnoticed by either. The exhaustion her body felt from never breaking, not for a second.

By late June, Aubrey felt the indulgence take over, as her career fell to the back burner and her priorities became the songs she listened to from backstage. The "smoke breaks" they took became a frequent event, despite them never lighting a single cigarette. The brush of his hand against her arm sent her spiralling as if she had grown touch starved. Maybe she had.

Time was a concept that had long been lost, and it only sank in when Aubrey realized this was the last performance before the short break they would take until September when the album would finally drop. two months had come and gone, with little recollection of it even occurring. She didn't care that the past months had blurred into a fuzzy mess of flashing lights and songs, not when it was all spent with him.

And yet Aubrey couldn't shake the feeling that she'd lost him. Alex seemed further away than ever, despite spending every waking moment with him. Their conversations that made the night bleed into the day held no merit to her, not when she yearned for his touch, his kiss and his true company. She wanted him to be hers, and hers only, selfishly even. But something continued to stop her from doing anything about this, something she couldn't quite place.

"Aubrey?" Brie waved her hands in front of her face, her choppy (and newly dyed) pink hair catching Aubrey's eye.

"Sorry, I was out to lunch." Aubrey apologized, giving a small smile and trying to return her attention to the stage.

"You have been for all of July, what's going on? I feel like I barely see you, and Matt said he was worried about you last night, he told me you seem off. So clearly I'm not the only one." Brie grabbed both of Aubrey's shoulders, steering her away from the entrance of the stage and down the steps.

"But Alex hasn't finished his set!" Aubrey protested.

The darkness of the night engulfed Aubrey, and she squinted to make out where Brie had led her. They sat just behind the stage, out of view from the hoards of people gathered to listen to the performance. Thankfully, they were mostly alone, as their backstage passes allowed them to sneak off into restricted areas of the festival.

"Okay, spill." Brie insisted, crossing her legs on the grassy field.

Had Aubrey really been this checked out? It wasn't unusual for Brie to pick up on these little things, and if Alex had made the comment she wouldn't have given it a second thought. But Matt?

"What if I told you I have no idea." Aubrey sighed, dragging her hands down her face. "I just feel like I've been in this haze for the past two months. Alex thinks I'm just tired but I don't know. I've barely processed that it's July! Maybe I need to put the drinking on hold. Alex is always-" Aubrey paused when she turned to look at her friend, who had a sly smile plastered on her face. "What?"

"I think I know what's going on. You've mentioned Alex three times in a four-minute conversation that was more of a ramble if anything. You're lovesick." Brie nudged Aubrey, looking for her reaction.

"I'm not, I don't, I- " Aubrey frowned. "What does that even mean?"

Brie shuffled closer to Aubrey, leaning in like she had been waiting for ages to explain her diagnosis. "You're head over heels for Alex, but you won't admit it to yourself. If we're being transparent here, you have been since you met him, but now that he's not actively pursuing you, it's finally hit you full force."