to solve a problem (you follow it back to the start)

1- Estranged wives and the experimental generation of interpersonal closeness

HEATHER

On any other occasion, Heather would have complained about the mud ruining her shoes. But now, her dirty loafers are the least of her problems, she has much bigger things to worry about, like trying to salvage the most important relationship in her life.

She closes the car door, locking it behind her, but she doesn't move, her legs seemed to have stopped working -which makes sense, given that she's been driving for the past two days - she leans on the car and takes a deep breath to steady herself. She is standing just a few feet away from the Sawyer's cabin, a place she had never been to before, despite her three-year relationship with Veronica. From the outside, she can see that the house isn't big or eccentric, just a simple two-story log cabin, leaning more towards cozy place in the woods to get some "me" time than creepy house where teenagers get killed in a horror movie, which is Heather's usual opinion on cabins.

The lights are on, and she sees Veronica's car parked in front of the porch. She's here. Heather takes another deep breath, the humid air filling up her nostrils. This is it. She drove 36 hours from Seattle to Ohio, she peed in dirty gas station bathrooms, she was forced to replace two tires during a goddamed storm, and almost crashed her car dozens of times for this exact moment. Now, all she has to do is walk to the front porch and knock on the door. Veronica feels so close and so far away at the same time.

She looks down at her hands, she hadn't realized she was fiddling with her wedding band, twirling it around her finger, until now, a habit of hers for whenever she's nervous. Heather shoves her hands into the front pockets of her jeans to stop herself, and starts to make her way toward the house. During the short walk, she tries not to focus on the thoughts running wild inside her head, or on the fact that the fate of her marriage depends on what she is about to say to Veronica, instead, she chooses to focus on the sound of leaves crushing against her shoes, the soft rain hitting the ground the crickets chirping, hidden somewhere along the trees and a distant, shrill sound coming from inside the house. Is someone drilling in there?

A

second later, at exactly 6:50 p.m., the inevitable comes and she finds herself standing in front of the door.

"Veronica," she says softly after knocking on the door. No response. "I know you're there, can we talk, please?" The drilling stops, and for a second Heather thinks Veronica is going to open the door but nothing happens. "I can hear you on the other side of the door, so you might as well just let me in."

Suddenly, she feels a sting on her forearm, and automatically slaps herself, and when she looks at her hand there's a dead mosquito crushed on it. "Mosquitoes, fun..." she mumbles, the inconvenience distracting her for two seconds until she remembers her actual goal.

"Veronica, open the door, please! I know that you are upset, and you have every right to be. I messed up, so fucking bad. So I'm here to make things right because you deserve to know the truth, to know me, the actual me, even now as you're trying your damndest to let me go," Heather says, her mouth dry. The harsh sight of the closed door in front of her hurts, but through the gap between the door and the floor, she can see a shadow, and she can feel Veronica's presence on the other side, listening. That gives her a little bit of hope to keep going. "You have a thousand reasons not to trust me because you don't know who I am, but for whatever is worth I also have no fucking clue as to who I actually am. All I know is that I love you and that I'm not leaving until you hear me out," the words come pouring out of her mouth, like a river breaking a dam. It's humiliating. Heather Chandler doesn't grovel, she doesn't beg for forgiveness. She's never felt so fragile before. But if that is what she has to do to win Veronica back, then so be it. "Also I have to pee really bad," she continues. " And there are mosquitoes everywhere, I'm pretty sure they're gonna eat me alive if I stay out here for too long."