i'm tired of feeling dirty after spending an hour or two in the shower i just want to feel normal again and it hurts because i can't tell anyone why i feel dirty. i'm tired of being afraid of people and feeling like everyone is judging me i wish didn't care what people think i'm tired of having panic attacks every time i go to a store and there is to many people i'm tired of feeling like i need to be skinny to be pretty i'm tired of eating until i feel sick i've tried to stop but it's hard i'm tired of not being able to control my emotions i'm tired of getting upset for no reason or a stupid reason then i feel bad and cut myself or hurt myself in some sort of way i'm tired of wishing i had straight or wavey hair and pearly white teeth and a tiny waist i'm tired of being scared when people get to close to me especially guys i don't even like it when my brother get close to me i'm tired of hating myself and not wanting to get out of bed or trying to starve myself just because i want to look or feel pretty i'm tired of feeling alone and feeling unwanted i'm tired of not knowing what i look like no matter how much or how long i look in the mirror i'm tired of getting attached to people just because they gave me some attention i'm tired of living in my head but it's the safest place and the only place i can feel comfortable for more then 20 minutes but now it's hard to tell what is reality and what is not or what i look like it hurts that i only feel pretty when i wear make up. i want to leave so bad but i can't i want more friends my age maybe even a lover but i'm too afraid to talk to people unless i'm talking to them online i'm tired of wishing i was diffrent.
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vent book
Randomwhen i first wrote this it was just a book for my thoughts and stuff but i kinda changed it so people know that they aren't alone and if you need to vent or would like me to post some of your feelings and thoughts just message me i love you have a g...
