Not a love story - Matheo Riddle & Y/n Lestrange

36

"I had a miscarriage that night," I say

"your joking, right?" he questions me as his chin wobles again

"it was one of the hardest things in my life, and I needed you," I say my voice breaking wiping my tears away with the back of my hand

"I was so heartbroken I had a miscarriage, and it was my fault," I say 

"it hurt so much, I screamed all night, and when it finished it was like I had just birthed my daughter, and I wasn't able to hold her," i sob

he looks so heartbroken, his nose is red his eyes are puffy, and he just looks so broken

"you do not have to but, can I please have a hug," I cry not wanting to overstep a line

he doesn't say anything he just comes over and holds me, no words can heal the both of us right now, but our hug says enough. 

"I'm so sorry," I break down

"Baby it's ok, it wasn't your fault," he cries

"no I'm sorry for the things I didn't do," I say

"what do you mean," he asks softly, sniffling

"I watched her rape you, and my first thought was that you cheated, I just I can't believe me, and then I didn't tell you I lost our baby," the last part hurts but the first part hurts the most

"don't ever, think you could have known, and don't ever blame yourself for anything," he says 

"do you still love me," he questions, I sit up and hold his face gently tears still managing to fall from his pretty puppy brown eyes

"i will love you until I stop breathing, " i say 

he cries a little as we watch the lights that light the sky from the quiditch field. his little sobs hurt me more than anything, knowing i cant take away his heart aching pain and his traumatic memories.

"im sorry," i whisper kissing his head

i get up as he stand up, he hugs me and i lead him back down stairs, and i walk to my room with him, he hops into my bed as he snuggles down into the warm blanket, i hop in holding him as tight as possible 

...

i wake up, rolling over to see matheo cuddled into the blanket, its saturday thank fuck, so i wont wake him up.

i stand up seeing lola not their must be at theos dorm

i walk to to the bathroom and i stand infront of the mirror

my baby is gone,  my precious angle

i put a shakey hand over my mouth to stop me from crying, the other hand slowly feel my belly, the one that used to carry my baby, the one that created my baby girl, the one that grew her until the person above told us it was time to say goodbye

cant i just have five more minuets with her

i let out a frailed cry, and i hear matheo running for the bathroom, he looks at me and his face sadness as he realises whats happening

he hugs me tightly reasurring me its ok, 

"i cant do this anymore it hurts, and i just hate everything right now," i cry 

"my love its ok, everything fucking sucks but all we need is each other," he says a little bit of anger in his voice

he holds onto me a little longer, i hop into the shower with him, as he just need to comfort each other, i get out and so does he