Love Is . . .

Chapter 32

         Do you ever really get over your first love? Firsts of any kind leave such lasting impressions. You remember all the little details . . . the weather, the place, and the clothes you wore. But what if your first love is the only love you've ever known? At least I knew him for most of my young influential teen years. Or was it a curse? It made our parting all the more painful and forever jaded what love is . . .

But never in a million years would I have thought we'd be here, in this moment. A choice is about to be made that will change everything. The old saying comes to mind:

"To love someone is to let them go, and if it is meant to be, it will be."

As I am looking into his bright blue eyes, I say a silent prayer,

Please, Lord, let it be . . .

        Everything around me goes dim. I vaguely remember Claire asking if I was okay since I'm just paralyzed, staring at him. He looks, both the same and different. He is dressed in a business suit and a long black trench coat. His sandy blond hair is a shade or two darker now, and it is cut in a way that is similar to how I remember his father wore his hair. He also has a day or two worth of facial hair growth. But his eyes, they were the same, that beautiful blue. I have never seen that color with anyone else, and I doubt that I ever will. Like a magnet, I am drawn to him.

     One slow step, then another, until I am close enough to touch him. Oh, how I want to. Just to make sure he is real. The years of separation are gone in the blink of an eye. I feel like a teenager again with that old familiar charge buzzing between us. I think he feels it, too, just by the way his eyes are drinking me in.

"Ben?" is all I can say as my heart is hammering inside my chest.

"I had to see you," he states and glances at Claire, who has come to stand beside me. "Would you go get some coffee with me or something?"

"Abby, do you know him?" Claire asks with concern etched on her face. It makes me smile, but I can't take my eyes away from his as I answer her.

"Yes, I know him. And, I would love to get some coffee with you." He smiles his slow one-sided grin.

         After assuring Claire that I would be safe, she heads back to our hotel, and I am riding with Ben in a taxi to a local coffee shop. We are silent on the way over. Both of us are stealing glances at the other unsuccessfully. I feel my face warm with a blush at being caught, and he just shakes his head with a smile and casts his eyes back out his window. We arrive at our destination. He holds the door for me, and we take seats across from each other in a secluded corner booth.

      I'm so nervous and unsure what to say. We place our orders with the waitress, and after she leaves, I find the courage to ask the one question that popped to mind the moment I saw him.

"How did you find me?"

"I wasn't really looking, honestly."

Ouch. Okay. So, maybe my leaving wasn't as hard for him as it was for me. Seeing my reaction, he adds,

"At least, I wasn't anymore." I lift my downcast eyes back up to his with a questioning look. "I'm here on a business trip. I was at my hotel the other night watching the local news, and I saw a report about the conference. You can imagine my shock when your picture appeared on the screen announcing you as the speaker." I smile nervously, and he continues. "I immediately got on the phone to purchase a ticket."

"Wait, you were there, in the audience?" I was shocked. He nods his head 'yes' while his eyes are searching my face. "So, you know then, about everything," I whisper, looking back down at my hands.