Love vs Lust

Deal? Or No Deal?

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Jay's POV

Alright... so I have a really stupid idea, I'm totally aware of how stupid it is and I know it'll probably end in tears (mine) but I have to go through with it because as dangerous to my emotional well being as he may be, I am not ready to have him leave my life yet.

Ryan left about ten minutes ago after I finally persuaded (threatened) him to let me talk to cyrus alone. Once he was gone there was a lot of awkward silence until we both got tired of it and simultaneously said "I need to talk to you..." I led him up to my bedroom and sat him down on the bed. I sat down next to him and looked him staight in the eyes.
"I have a proposition for you" I say folding my hands in front of me and trying not to show how much this is really hurting me.

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Cyrus's POV

She's shutting me out again. I can see it in the way she's steadily holding my gaze and in the stiff posture she holds. I look down at her loosely folded hands that get tighter with each word she speaks. I dont think she's going to completely shut me out of her life, she wouldnt be talking to me if that was her plan. I try to search her eyes for any sign as to what it is she is planning on doing and find nothing, that I can understand. "Propisition?" I ask finally finding my voice. She seems to hesitate for a moment and think over her words carefully. Then she tilts her head to the side with a small smile that makes me want to crush my mouth over hers. "Friends with benefits" She says it casually leaving no room for questioning "excuse me?" She smiles amusedly "your right, were not exactly friends, are we? But I'm sure you get the gist anyway." She says with a shrug, she's studying me carefully to see how I'll react.

"No" I say clearly, trying not to shout. She doesnt seem suprised but she does seem hurt. " I dont want a friends with benefits kind of relationship with you" I grab her hands that were now nervously picking at her clothes. "I care about you a lot, I've liked you since the kindergarten when I saw you defend that friend of yours by pushing all the other girls in the mud" I laugh " and you ruined your dress so that she wouldnt feel bad"I lift her chin so that her eyes were looking directly into mine, instead of downcast towards the floor." I wanted to get to know you then, and I didnt know how to" I laugh and leave it at that because I think we both know how I handled it from there. "The frogs were a really nice touch" her chins still in my hand and her eyes sparkle with amusement. "So were the fireworks that went off in my bedroom" I retort jokingly. We fall into comfortable silence for a a couple of seconds.

She looks up at me and I know she's absolutely determined to do this.
"What do I need to say to convince you?" She asks. I just shake my head at her. She looked sad for a long moment. "Be my girlfriend" I say and at her look of suprise I add a "please?" She stares at me for a long moment with a conflicted look in her eyes. "I...can't" she whisphers under her breath. I barely hear it and immediately wish I hadn't. "Why not?" I ask immediately. Making her look slightly panicked, her gaze shoot's to the wall and I wish I could see what was going on in that head of hers.

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Jay's POV

"Why not?" Panic shoots through me like a knife and I find my self glaring at the wall like it was a picture of the jerk himself. Why not?
I ask myself.

Cyrus is different.
The part of me in my head that inocently trust's everyone tells me.
How do you know?
A part that believe's the whole worlds a war zone and everyone's just waiting to hurt each other.
It's worth a try.
Usually the curious me wins every time but this is diferent.
You need to learn to trust again.
Stupid little inocent brat.
Your aware your calling yourself a brat, right?
Yes! I snap inside my head.........
Well okay this has been a fun little trip to insanity I'm gonna go now.
but this is your mind, where are you planning on going?