Love vs Lust

My Decision

I almost wondered whether I should do another chapter because I feel like I'm failing miserably with this story.....Then I remembered why I started this book in the first place. I wanted to expand my mind and try new things and although I feel like I'm definitely not doing so well with this story...I am going to keep in mind that I am doing this to further broaden my view as an aspiring writer.

Anyways so that's all I needed to say.

Hope you enjoy this chapter. :-)

I wish you a chocolaty day with Skittles forever falling from above. ;-)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jay's POV

I don't know if I am ready for this.

Is he ready to be in a committed relationship?

Obviously he is, but does that mean I can trust him?

Not only him but me, I don't know if I'm ready to be in a 'serious' relationship again. It's not like I was or have been with anyone else since we made this little deal but.... now that think about it I haven't even noticed any other guy since that first day I met him in the cafeteria....

Well I suppose it all comes down to commitment issues, right?

I don't want to have to make it all official because if we do then we would have to 'officially' breakup when that time came and it would. I know it would. I let out a sigh wondering where the girl who cliff dived because she was bored and her best friend dared her was. Where was the girl who raced for the thrill of not only competition but for the thrill of turning the corner so fast you close your eyes for a millisecond thinking your gonna crash and that this is the end for you?

Why did she feel at ease on her fourteenth birthday when her brothers started teaching her how to fighting and shoot correctly, yet she panic when Cyrus asked her a simple question? Even when her brothers first told her about their not so legal activities she kept a level head. I'll stop there because now I just feel like I'm bragging and being conceited. My point is, why am I so afraid of him?!

Grrrr!!! even when he isn't trying he frustrates me!!!

No it isn't his fault I shouldn't be mad at him.... Ok screw that, I am mad at him. Why? you ask, because he asked me and then he refused to hear my answer until tomorrow, not like I had an answer to give him but it would have been a lot easier if he would've demanded an answer right then. I am not good when given time to 'think' about what decision I should make, I'm not the right person to give options to, then let roam free. I'll drive myself insane!

I groan and throw myself into my bed in total frustration, rubbing my temples.

I'm getting a major headache.

Jerk! I think to myself but then I remember how he spent the rest of the evening holding my hand, making small romantic gestures like kissing my cheek or my hand,the top of my head, playing with my hair when I fell asleep in his lap under a tree, and the whole car ride back making 'comments' and 'jokes' that sent my anything but innocent mind into a whole different level of embarrassed.

I put my hands up to my cheeks remembering how I had blushed, smiled and grinned through out the rest of the evening. No one had ever made me feel so many emotions in one day and with that I knew what my decision was going to be.

If it wasn't already obvious, I was going to say yes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Ok Jay you can do this" I gave myself a little pep talk before knocking on his door. "Ok breathe" I instructed myself. I'm ok I just need to say one little word, I'll be fine. I hear shuffling on the otherwise of the door and I start to panic. Shit! Shoot! Oh gosh! " Grrrr, come on West! Stop being such a whimp!" I scolded myself. "Talking to ourselves now are we?" I turn to toward the voice and see Cyrus standing there with an amused smirk on his face. I wanna smack that smirk right of his face.... With my lips... Wait is that even possible? Ugh who cares I just wanna kiss him.

Okay here goes nothing. Ummmm, okay just speak. It's an action, it is not connected to your emotions. Emotional, and physical actions and feelings are two different things. Stop thinking and just speak..."I have an answer for you" I say making him look nervous "and?" I quickly repeated my paragraph long chant that helps me through almost anything. "Yes" he smirks at me, his eyes filling with joy "yes what?" I mentally groan "yes I'll be your girlfriend" he grins and pulls me into him by my waist. "I'm glad you said that, now I won't have to kidnap you" I laugh " I think we both know you wouldn't be able to catch me" he quirks an eyebrow "oh really?"

I smirk and run my hands through his hair and gently drag my nails down his back before running them back up. I place my arms around his neck and drag him down until we're an inch apart and I can feel his warm breath fan my face. I look into his eyes and quirk an eyebrow "really." I say before stepping away leaving him slightly dazed and before he can fully register what I just did I run upstairs laughing to find a place to hide. I hear footsteps behind me and barely make it to the hallway closet door before arms wrap around me and I'm pulled backwards into a solid chest.

" got you" he whispers in my ear making me shiver and him smirk as he trails soft kisses down my neck. "Your mine" he whispers softly "I'm your girlfriend not your toy" I say back, not caring if I ruin the moment. I am a girl not an item and I am no ones possession. He grins against my skin making another shiver run through me.

"Mmmh, are you sure about that?" he then starts to nip and kiss at my neck softly. I swear it takes everything in me not to become a puddle right then and there. " uh huh, definitely" I answer. He continues to suck and kiss my neck and I suppress a moan. "Really?" he asks again. All I can manage now is a nod. He spins me around and pins me against the wall, holding my hands over my head. He slowly starts leaning down. I bite down hard on my lip, and he groans before finally crashing his lips onto mine. Our lips move in sync.

He doesn't bother asking, knowing I won't grant it so he just bite down on my bottom lip softly. Resulting in me gasping and him sliding his tongue into my mouth and a fight for dominance that he wins. For now. I jump up and wrap my legs around him and he carries me in the direction of his bedroom without ever breaking our kiss. He kicks the door shut behind us and I can't help but grin against his lips.
For once I think I might agree.
I am his and he is mine.