Our Story

Chapter 15: The Whispering

Twelve minutes later, the Doctor was still sitting in the open doorway of the TARDIS, overlooking the Medusa Cascade—except his eyes were closed and a tear was rolling down his cheek.

He was unaware of her presence until she knelt beside him and whispered as she wiped the tear off his cheek. "Hey, Doc."

He inhaled quickly as he opened his eyes and saw her there beside him. "Arch, I—" He quickly stood and she followed suit almost immediately. "I—I'm sorry, I'll get us back to Cardiff so you can get back to Libby. I was just—"

He was to the console before she could stop him. He had already started flipping a few switches when her hand covered his to still his motion. "Doctor—slow down." He stopped, but she felt his hand trembling under hers. She gave him a sad smile. "Before we go back—let's get some tea and go to sit by the fire in the library. We need to talk."

His eyes were wide as he stared at her, trying to discern what direction this 'talk' might end up going in. "Talk?" he squeaked out.

She nodded and rested her hand on his arm now. "Yes, talk. I owe you an explanation for my own behavior."

"O-O-okay," he stuttered.

As they prepared tea in the kitchen, they were both quiet. On one hand, the Doctor wished she'd just start talking—that he could understand what was going on. On the other hand, he was terrified of what she was going to say. They walked down the hall to the library in silence. It was only once they were settled in on the couch by the fireplace that she began to speak.

"Doctor, I—"

"Whatever it is I've done, Arch—I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Please don't leave. Give me another chance, I—"

It had started to pour out of him before she could even begin to explain. He was terrified and it broke her own heart to know her fear, her own behavior, had caused him to be so afraid. "Doctor!" she interrupted him. "Stop apologizing and let me explain." His mouth snapped shut and after another deep breath she began explaining. "You haven't done anything wrong, not between us, not since I woke up as the Archivist again. But ever since we went back in my memories, there's been this voice whispering in my head—"

The Doctor frowned. "A voice? What is it saying?"

She looked him in the eye now, and explained. "Don't trust the Doctor. He'll just hurt you again. He only—cared for you because you were Christine. He doesn't really care about you now. He's just—he's just acting interested so that he can continue his beloved Time Lord race." She quickly looked down into her tea again, ashamed at voicing the thoughts in her head.

His demeanor darkened. "That's—that's not true."

She stood and began pacing in front of the fire place, in much the same manic way the Doctor might. Her brow furrowed as she spoke, "I know, I know it's not—"

He sat forward on the couch. "Telana, those words sound very much like the words of—"

She stopped and turned to him, "Like Koschei. I know."

"The Master is dead. He's gone. And yet he's still trying to control you—"

"I guess all those years of him trying to sway me to not be loyal to you, to try and break my—care—for you—I guess it buried deeper than I thought it had."

The Doctor stood and interrupted her pacing by placing his own body between her and the invisible spot she'd been walking towards. He reached out and touched her cheek and she felt his presence pushing at the edge of her mind. She closed her eyes and welcomed him back in.

Telana, I can't make you trust me. All I -can- do is tell you that you can. I can tell you that I'd never hurt you again, not on purpose.

I know, Doctor.

Do you still-do you really still...care about me, Telana? Like you did all those years ago?

Doctor...Theta...I've loved you for as long as I can remember. Deep, in the back of my mind, you were always there. Even as Christine, I fell for you.

The Doctor felt as if his hearts might burst, first because she willingly used his personal name, and second, at her decision to actually use the word 'love'. Are you sure? Because I'm not the same man I was then, I've regenerated so, so many times. At least nine.

More than nine.

That's a discussion for another day. The point is—if you can still love me—through all these regenerations, through all the different men I've been—

You're still you, still Theta, still the Doctor.

Precisely. Then why can't I still love you even though you've changed from Christine back to the Archivist? She was you, you are her. Perhaps seeing you, experiencing you as Christine—maybe that was what I needed to be reminded of how much I had in you all those years ago. Christine was what I needed to see to have those feelings stirred within me, but you, you are still the one I love.

They were quiet for several minutes before the Doctor spoke aloud. "Open your eyes, Telana." She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. His hand still rested on her cheek. "The last thing we have to address from this litany of lies that the Master has embedded in your head is this—Telana, I swear to you that I am not in this just to procreate. I wish we'd never even thought about that. I wish we didn't have to think about that." He paused a beat, determining something in his mind. "In fact, we don't have to think about that. Other than a very brief time when he reappeared, I've lived a hundred years since the Time War with the knowledge that I'd be the last Time Lord. I can live with the knowledge that we'll be the last two Time Lords just as easily."

"Ignoring the fact that we are bio-compatible and could procreate if necessary," she said as scientifically as possible, though in her heart the idea was very personal and very much non-scientific.

"Yes, ignoring that fact."

"So where does that leave us? What now?"

"I think you should brush up on what's required of a female Time Lord to prevent pregnancy. I can inhibit certain things, but then you wouldn't know for sure if I was. There would still, could still, be a question in your mind. You should have that control."

The Archivist frowned ever so slightly and searched his eyes. "But Doctor, that would imply that we're going to—"

"I want to marry you," he blurted out before she could continue.

Her eyes went wide. "What!?"

"Marry me. I want to spend the rest of my lives with you, Telana."

"M-Marry you?"

"Yes."

"You want to marry me?"

"I feel like we're going in circles now, Arch. Yes, I, the Doctor love you and want to marry you, the Archivist. I, Theta, want to marry you, Telana. Will you marry me?"

"I—I spent so many years dreaming of spending forever with you. Of the adventures we'd go on together, the family we'd have together. I dreamed of silly every day things and grand adventurous things. I can't quite believe this is happening. I can't believe my dream could come true."

"Oh, Arch—if anyone deserves to have their dreams come true, it's you. What do you think? Are you ready to write our shared story? The story of the Archivist, who knew all along, and the Doctor who was slow to catch up?" He asked with a humored smile on his face.

"My dear Doctor, I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my lives with you. Yes, I will marry you."

One of his hands still rested on her cheek, the other now went to the nape of her neck as he leaned in and kissed her. He hoped, in that moment, to express to her every bit of love he felt for her. To wash away her doubts and permanently remove the Master's whispered negativity from her mind.