9-1-1 Oneshots

Family First

⚠️SPOILER ALERT: S03E18⚠️
Han x Buck

/Buck POV/

As I was watching his sweaty chest, I couldn't help but lick my lips and then bit on the bottom one, it's like I want him to know how I feel about him. I mean c'mon, who wouldn't like Chim? He's so generous and kind, he always puts everyone before him and he's so fucking hot. The tattoos on his body are turning me on so much, I always wanted to know what the one on his breast means. Whatever its meaning is, it looks damn hot on him, so are the other ones.

-Buck?! - he raised his voice to get my attention, which happened. I looked up at his eyes, cause apparently I was staring at his body, and then opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out. - Are you doing okay? - he asked, looking straight into my soul. I've been admiring him for so long but how could I make the first move? He's dating my sister, after her failed, toxic relationship, I'm just glad she's happy, and that I know the man she's in love with like he's my brother is also a good point. I am happy for her, yes, I am... But then why am I always so sad? I even went to a therapist, I couldn't see a future for myself, only the one that one old firefighter had. A life with work and nothing else.

I couldn't keep myself away from letting my emotions out, not anymore. Thinking about how the only person I liked was the one my sister loved. No wonder I always failed with girls, I tried to change myself, I tried playing straight but God help me, I just can't lie about my feelings.

-Whats wrong? - his expression changed when he saw my tears running down my face. This isn't the time Buck, let them have fun! At least they can..

-I-It's nothing, really - I faked a smile, then wiped my tears off and put on my mask that I've been wearing since Abby left me. She was the only woman that made me feel like somebody, but it's been years and she has a husband, as well as kids...

I broke down in tears as my knees got weak, leading me to collapse onto the floor, like the idiot I am. - Why am I so unlovable? - I look at him while he was holding me, kneeling down to face me.

-What do you mean? Everyone loves you, Buck - he says calmly, looking into my eyes, trying to tell me "it's okay" with his look. But I know it won't be, it never was okay.

-Not as a friend o-or family, I'm so lonley Chim, I have nobody - I looked down cause I felt embarrassed. I'm being pathetic... I'm not sure why I'm even here, I guess I followed my heart and it brought me to Han.

I must look so ridiculous... Walking on my sister and his partner – who's happened to be my crush AND best friend – doing the nasty and then just collapse on the floor crying, saying nobody likes me. So fucking pathetic! In their eyes I just came in here, while they're fucking, just to complain about my love life. Holy shit, I'm about to burry myself under the ground...

When I didn't get an answer, I looked up at him and noticed he was waiting for my eye contact, cause as soon as he got it, he started to talk.

-Look Buck, I know dating has been difficult for you, but... Look at me, I wasn't in a relationship since years, and I'm older than you so I think you have many years back to find the One - he smiled softly but it just made my crying worse.

-That's the thing Chim... I-I found him! I found who I want to be with and live my life with - I sobbed, slowly getting up from the floor with his help.

-"Him"? - he looked at me, completely in shook. I froze for a minute there, realising I've never told anyone I'm more into boys than girls. - Buck, what do you mean by "him"? - he looked at me seriously but I only could mouth my words, but actual sound never left my lips. He looked around, then hold my shoulder. - I-I'm okay with it, my best friend is a member of the LGBTQ community, you know that, so it's not a problem, it's just that... You've never mentioned it - he looked a bit disappointed so I felt bad. He's such a good friend of mine, I knew he wouldn't be mad or disgusted, but still, I was always afraid to admit it... Even to myself.