Complicated

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BECA MITCHELL'S POV:
I was dating with Jesse Swanson. He is a good guy. I thought I'd liked him since the day that he took me home. It had rained that day, and I'd been waiting for Chloe Beale. But she hadn't come and luckily, Jesse'd seen me and helped me. Jesse was a hot guy in school so who didn't want to date him? And I was the one of those girls. he'd invited me and Chloe to his party the day before and something'd happened between me, Chloe and him. I've never ever thought that Chloe loved me before. She'd seen Jesse leaned to kiss me at the party and punched in his face. I didn't know what the hell she was thinking at that time. Then she'd hold my hand and led me go outside the party without saying anything. There were so much feelings in my mind. Why did Chloe hit Jesse? I'd stopped and pulled her hand away. I asked her if she'd loved me and that was true. She've loved me for a long time. I knew she is bisexuals but I've never thought that she was in love with me. I was so shocked. I love her, but just as friend. She is one of my important people in my life. She said she didn't want to mess up our friendship but she did. And i didn't mean to hurt Chloe, but i did. I really did. Chloe said that i should have come back the party to take care for Jesse and she'd left. I'd seen her, wanted to hold her hand and begged she to stay with me. But i couldn't. I worried that if i hold her, everything might be worse and worse.

Then I'd turned back to the party, and asked Jesse if he had been okay. Jesse asked me:

-"Why did Chloe hit me?"

I hadn't known what to say, so i'd lied:

-"She was drunk and maybe she hit wrong person"

-"Oh okay"

-"Are you okay, Jesse? I'm so sorry."

-"Yeah I'm okay. Do not worry. And where is Chloe?"

-"She went home"

-"Oh,..forget it.. Beca, i have a present for you, follow me"

I had been so curious and followed him. He'd led me to the stage and started singing for me. I was very surprised. Then he knelt and asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend. I had felt so confused. If i said yes, i would hurt Chloe, if i said no, Chloe would continue loving me and she would be hurt more. Finally, I decided to date him, thing that i hope Chloe would give up and we are still friends.
Once or forever hurt, Chloe, sorry, i can't let you hurt more because of me...

•••••••••••••••••••••
Night:

I brought my pijama to Chloe's house. I was trying to make our friendship be normal like before. We often slept together, i did not care she is gay or bi or whatever. I just love her and i never think about that she loves me "as a couple". Now I was so confused because what had happened the night before. But i had to go to make everything be normal back.
I knocked the door and waited for Chloe. She opened the door. Her face was... not okay. Like she was just done crying.

-"Hey Chloe...Are you okay?"- I worried

-"Where are you going?" - She ignored my question.

-"I want to sleep with you tonight, can i? Wait, you still not reply my first question. What's the matter with you?"

Chloe didn't say anything, she just looked at me and tears were falling down on her beautiful face. I didn't understand what was happening. Why did Chloe cry?

I came to her closer, wiped her tears.

-"Why, Chloe?"

She pulled me away:

-"No, just go your home. I don't want. Sorry"

She was gonna close the door and i prevented her and said as quickly as i could:

-"Wait, wait, i can't understand what is happening? Please tell me why Chloe..."

She smirked and tears were still falling.

-"You don't need to know, Mitchell. Just go home"

-"This morning, i apologized to you, we were okay, what happened? I thought you forgave me, huh?"-I said loudly. "I don't understand, Chlo. I won't go home if you don't tell me. Did i do something wrong? I denied your love, am i wrong? Really, Chloe?"

-"I've never thought you love me like i did, Beca..."- she said coldly

-"So what...?"

-"Why don't you tell me about you and Jesse are dating?"

Wait, what. She knew? I just didn't want to hurt her. So i hadn't told her this morning. I wanted to tell her when our friendship were back. I was so confused now. She smirked. We were in silent space. I didn't know when i started crying. I hold her hand and explained to hope she will understand me.

-"Chloe, i just don't want to hurt you. I did it last night...i was gonna to say it when you and I..."

She cut off while i was explaining:

-"That's not problem, Beca. I just wonder why you dated him? Because of me......? Right? Or you really love him?"- She wiped tears

I froze. Still crying. I didn't know what to say.

-"Please tell me..."

-"Both..."- I looked at her. Face to face. Eyes to eyes. Tears to tears.

-"Fine..."- She smirked, then closed the door. I just stood there. In front of her house. Still hoping she would open the door.

But she didn't.

I could feel that she was crying behind that damn door.

I am sure.

Complicated.

I might go now.

A little girl was crying on the way went home. I perhaps lost my best friend.

(I HAVE PROBLEM WITH GRAMMAR. SORRY. PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME. THANKS)

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