Quest of the Half Gods

Chapter 4: Απόλλων

********Content Warning******* This chapter of Quest of the Half Gods contains topics of suicide. Read at your own discretion.

Apollo was not fine. He was finding it extremely hard to make his feet move toward the amphitheater. His growing hatred for Icarus reached a culmination as he began pushing Apollo forward. "I can walk on my own thanks!" Apollo snapped, shoving Icarus away. Icarus stood back, hurt apparently on his face. Apollo didn't care. He was fighting very hard to stay conscious of the thought of relaying the events of the last night to the waiting campers, including Nico Di Angelo who had a reputation for opening cracks in the earth when his siblings died.

"This is bringing out the worst in you Apollo," Icarus said, speeding up so that he could walk ahead of him. I know. Apollo thought, fighting back tears. "I hate you." He said to Icarus, trying to turn his sadness into anger. Not as much as I hate myself. 

The buzzing in his head had quieted down after Galatea had helped to heal him, but now it grew louder in his ears. How am I supposed to continue when the only thing that got me out of that was you? He thought. 

"The feeling is mutual," Icarus said bitterly.

They reached the amphitheater and watched as the campers listened intently to Will Solace and Nico Di Angelo as they regaled them with the story of their quest so far. Icarus started forward and reached Will and Nico's sides. Apollo couldn't seem to make himself move. He watched from the side as the three boys hugged. 

"You guys made it back!" Will said, smiling at Icarus and Apollo. "How are you physically here?" Will asked Icarus, standing back to look at him. Nico narrowed his eyes and looked between Icarus and Apollo. "Where's Galatea?" 

Icarus glanced back at Apollo before clearing his throat. He looked up at all of the campers and then back at Will and Nico, "Galatea-" His voice broke and he started again, "Galatea is dead."

Shock and grief immediately passed over Will's face, but he turned to Nico who stood, shaking. "Nico?" He asked gently. Nico ignored him and started for Apollo. Apollo expected him to hit him or something but instead, he stopped in front of him and asked, "How?" 

Apollo looked up at Nico. He felt like he wasn't actually there. "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice sounding unlike his own. Nico's eyes looked from Apollo's face down to Galatea's necklace which hung from Apollo's neck. His eyes widened in rage and he looked up at Apollo. "She did it to herself." He said, his voice low and shaky. This snapped Apollo out of his thoughts and he looked into Nico's eyes. "What do you mean?" He said, his voice barely above a whisper. "While we were in the Labyrinth, Galatea told me that this necklace kept her alive. Was she wearing it when you found her?" Apollo thought for a moment, his ears ringing as he tried to keep a hold of himself, "No." He whispered, his brain racing over the impossible thought that Galatea could have killed herself. Nico shook his head, "Someone must have said something." He said, almost to himself. "What do you mean?" Apollo asked, his voice wavering in fear. "Galatea was cursed! If she loved someone and they didn't love her back then they would die. If someone even said it out loud then the other person would die. Someone must have said something, and she killed herself to protect you!" Nico hissed. Apollo felt all of the air leave his lungs. He looked up at Nico in horror, "But...I do love her!" He breathed. Nico's eyes widened in rage. He began shouting things that Apollo couldn't hear.

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Apollo turned around and began walking away. He didn't know where he was going, he just let his feet carry him away from the truth. His breathing was short and ragged, his mind a jumble of terrible thoughts. Suddenly he was running, through the strawberry fields, through the rows of cabins, through the trees until he couldn't continue any longer and collapsed in a clearing. His body shook with frantic sobs that echoed through the trees.

Galatea killed herself to protect him because she thought that he didn't love her when he'd done nothing but that for five hundred years. It was too much. Why hadn't he said anything? That was what the Fates had meant. They were mocking him because he'd been too afraid and because of that, Galatea had died for nothing. 

Darkness edged filled the edges of his eyes as he sat there, his hands pressed to the sides of his head, the thoughts too much, the grief too much for him to bear. His body was exhausted from his sobs, but he couldn't stop. 

At some point, he felt a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't look up. He heard a faint voice trying to talk to him, but it sounded too far away to hear. It wasn't until two small hands grasped his own that he looked up through his daze to see Meg McCaffery kneeling before him, her concerned eyes looking into his own. 

"Meg?" He choked out, barely able to believe that she was actually there and not a result of the poison that still lingered in his brain. She nodded, "I'm here." He'd never heard her sound like that before. Serious and concerned. "Are you?" He asked, afraid that she was just a hallucination. Instead of responding, she moved behind him and hugged him tightly. At this, Apollo was completely lost. "She killed herself, Meg!" He sobbed, "She did it for me! I- I didn't tell her that I loved her and now she's dead because of me! It's my fault, Meg!" Meg laid her head on his own, "It's not your fault Apollo, you couldn't know!" "I could've told her." He choked out. Meg said something that he couldn't hear. He couldn't hold on any longer and cried until his exhausted body gave out and he drifted into unconsciousness.