Quest of the Half Gods

Chapter 5: Απόλλων

Apollo lay there frozen on the ground, muttering incoherently. Just get up. He thought through the haze he was in. It's just mental. You aren't paralyzed, just stand up! He couldn't make himself. He remembered his son Asclepius once telling him that sometimes one could feel grief so strongly that it would cause them to experience paralysis, though he'd never experienced it in his own life until right then. Plus, there was the murmuring. It wouldn't stop though Apollo figured it wasn't supposed to. All he could hear was ringing in the world around him while in his own head, thousands of voices tormented him as he lay there paralyzed. It got louder and louder the more he tried to shut it out. He could feel tears streaming down his face as he clenched his teeth and forced his hands over his ears. He might've been screaming though he couldn't really tell. The face of his sister Artemis stared coldly at him, her head on the spirit of the bird that had once carried his own. She was laughing at him. Apollo shut his eyes tightly and sobbed, "Go away! Go away!" Over and over again until the words had no meaning.

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Apollo was on the brink of passing out when a face different face appeared in front of his own. He barely recognized it, though he knew that he knew the girl that it belonged to. She was speaking to him though it sounded like he was underwater. She tried to gently take his hands off of his ears though when she did he began thrashing and fighting her, though she didn't back off. Finally, his exhaustion got the better of him and he had to stop resisting. He lay there, breathing heavily as she stared at him. She's concerned for me, why's she concerned for me? He thought, staring at her in bewilderment. "Apollo?" She said, her voice slowly becoming louder. Apollo...yes, that's my name. What's her name? 

He realized that he was hyperventilating and about to lose consciousness. She seemed to realize it too and sat behind him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. Apollo panicked at this unfamiliar touch and tried to writhe away from her but yet again, she won the fight. His breathing slowed and he remembered another thing Asclepius told him: a tight hug will help a person with anxiety come out of their attacks. He couldn't remember anything about this girl or pretty much anything, but for some reason, the words of Asclepius were as fresh in his mind as they were thousands of years ago.

She spoke again, her words bouncing around in his foggy mind, the whispers that flooded his head parting for the name Galatea. Apollo whipped his head around to look at the girl. Yes! Galatea! She's my friend! I-I love her! Say something! Anything! Anytime now! You've got this! The speech was a lot easier to execute in the brief clarity in his head than it was to physically say out loud. 

"G-Ga-Galatea?" He stuttered, struggling to make his lips move. The sound of his own voice scared him. It sounded as broken as his sanity felt. He realized that he was violently shaking. He wanted to laugh but the thought of having to hear his own voice again made him want to vomit. People always say that they've officially lost their minds when they forget their keys or something. I actually lost my mind and it's not as easy to regain as my keys! He thought, mentally giggling. 

"What happened to you?" Galatea asked, concern written all over her face. Oh goody, more talking. He tried to speak again but found that he could only make a series of moans and groans that nowhere resembled English or Greek, so basically, nothing that Galatea could understand. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared down at him. "We're going to get you to help okay?" She said, her voice wobbling. Apollo realized that his attempts at speech were just stressing her out so he nodded vaguely. The clarity that he'd felt before was rapidly leaving his brain and the voices became louder and louder, thriving off of the panic that he felt. What if she can't help me? What if she has to do this quest alone? 

He felt himself being lifted off of the ground and looked around, completely detached from reality as she began helping him walk down the path. She kept yelling a name over and over again as they walked though it did not ring any bells in his muddled mind. 

After some amount of time, Galatea could carry him no longer and placed him gently onto the ground propped against a wall where she joined him a moment later. She said something to him but he couldn't hear her over the voices.

The voices were that of the people that he cared for the most, even the ones that he didn't want to admit he cared for. He couldn't tell if what they were saying was fake or if he just hadn't been paying attention, but he did know that they had driven him to insanity, leaving him trapped inside of his own mind, desperately trying to put the pieces together. 

When you think about it, he kind of had a point. If it wasn't for your big head, none of the terrible things you went through would have happened. It was your fault. Artemis's voice rang through his head. You have let me down in every single way imaginable Apollo and all you do is sit there and cry? You can't even take responsibility for everything you've done to screw everyone's life up again and again? Zeus. I should have let Hera kill you while she had the chance, it would've saved me a lot of trouble from having to deal with you. Leto. I would rather kill myself than be with you. Galatea. You lied, you said that you'd changed Apollo, I trusted you! Now you left me alone to die! Meg. 

He hadn't heard the phrase from Meg before. Suddenly, more voices flooded in along with images of horrible things that he'd done, his worst fears, his greatest mistakes, playing over and over again on repeat. The only thought in his mind that was his own was a terror for the truth behind Meg's words. I left her alone at camp! What if she died? Did she die? The more that he asked himself the question, the more he convinced himself that it was true. He turned to his side and threw up at the thought, muttering the same phrase out loud. "I killed her." He said, repeating it like a mantra. 

He closed his eyes once more and let the madness wash over him.