Some nothings and somethings

An ache next to my heart

So Ive recently moved to Hawaii. Its great except, why oh why did it have to happen just when I got a boyfriend in Mexico and just got my mom to not kill me after she found out he kinda sorta

(I stress "Sorta" in all caps)

was my FIRST TIME and just finally got comfortable and not totally terrified of kissing him in any place my mom might see us even though she KNEW we were dating and KNEW we had on, not one, not two, but multiple occassions done far more than just that. Heck the day I flew out of México I kissed him right on the mouth IN FRONT OF HER.

But I digress.

Its unfortunate being so far from him. Even though I am more than accostumed to long distance relationships, seeing as how most of my vaild and major relationships were as such. But its different once you actually meet a guy and he holds you, and plays with your hair, and kisses you, and gives you hickies and takes your virginity in a public sta- oh wait. You guys dont wanna know that, phew. I almost gave away very personal and potentially mentally damaging information.

😅 My bad, got caught up there for a minute. Anyways you get the point. Once youve shared both the emotional, verbal and physical, its kinda hard to go back to just emotional and verbal y'know? But hey, hopefully I'll land a job soon and I can come and visit him. Hes even offered to help which is something I was never offered in past long distance relationships despite the fact that the other parties wanted to meet in person too. Or so they said. Perhaps they never meant it- each for his or her own valid reasons im sure- and just said it to make me feel like im not a total moron and clingy thingy that cant just accept a relationship with phone calls and mutual mastru- whoaa there I go again. All im saying is I have NEEDS, real human needs. Even if there was never any... mating I still would be satisfied if i at least got to physically kiss and touch my romantic partner. I mean is it asking for a lot? Is it really so much?

So I started this chapter wanting to complain about long distance relationships and tell you a bit about life in Hawaii- or at least how i experience it from my view. I acconplished the first thing but i failed to do the second. But i dont wanna make the chapters too long because then people wont finish them and get bored, (my mom says the media is shortening people's attention spans. I dont know wether or not to believe her. You?) So I'll cut this chapter short and tell you about it in the next.

[Hey guys for those of you who know me and have been my loyal followers since the beginning (which wasnt all that long ago) i'd like to say thanks for being so patient for my stuff. I know I dont put out stuff often; I hope to finally keep up with this particular book. Should'nt be too hard. Its a bunch of nothing about something. Also if you guys want to know about the stuff I left unsaid, comment below 👍]