Innocence Lost // Cake

IX.5 Ana

"My inner fat girl wanted dinner,
But that girl Ana told me no.
So she took that food I'd made her,
And showed me that it had to go.
I took some bites and threw it out,
The rest went down into the drain.
And then that Ana girl, she whispered
Things to help me fight the pain.
My inner fat girl wanted breakfast
(the morning after dinner time)
But that girl Ana smacked her fingers
Because to eat would be a crime.
And so I tossed out that banana
Because that girl Ana told me so,
And that girl Ana says, "you're pretty,
But you've got such a ways to go."
At lunch time, that fat girl in me
Meekly asked me for a snack.
But that girl Ana told me no,
And so I had to take it back.
I came so far and got so thin
I knew to waste it would be bad,
And so I took a sip of water
(the longest sip I'd ever had.)
Because Ana sees and Ana knows
The lies I always tell myself
"I'm pretty just the way I am.
I'm worth much less up on a shelf."
And when I open up my mouth
To feed my fat girl, Ana says,
"Listen here you little shit,
Do this and you'll see better days."
So I'll keep tossing out my food,
Every day the same charade,
And cleanse myself with every step,
And put my bones out on parade.
I will not eat, I will not think,
I'll test myself, I'll find my brink,
I'll find control, I'll show them all,
My strength is great, my fear is small.
And that girl Ana, I know she will,
Always be there, like good friends shall.
Because no one on Earth knows better than she,
Not parents, nor doctors, nor God, nor me."

-"That Girl Ana", by cheeriopuff

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Pour ceux qui ne savait pas à quoi ressemble une vie lorsque Ana prends le dessus et qu'à quel point vous devenez obsédé par la nourriture. Donc j'aime beaucoup cet quote, car elle résume bien un trouble alimentaire. De plus vous une petite idée à quoi la vie de Taylor. Je sais que c'est rien et que ça pas rapport avec l'histoire mais je voulais juste vous donner quelque chose avant de publier le prochain chapitre puisque je dois relire l'histoire au complet et refaire quelque petite touche. Donc je suis vraiment contente de savoir que quelque part, quelqu'un continue à lire cette fiction et tout. Eh bien pour ces gens la, je vous adore!

Source: http://cheeriopuff.tumblr.com/post/131460013424/my-inner-fat-girl-wanted-dinner-but-that-girl