Daffodils in Spring

FLORENCE: Lost in a Maze

I was ten years old when I found it what Matthew had meant when he had said that we were meant to be married. It wasn't that I hadn't listened to me when he had told me that day in the park but more that I thought it was just words, that he had said because that is how he felt at the time. Years had passed since then and the easy friendship that we had as young children had long since passed and been replaced by an uncomfortable kinship; we knew that we had to spend time together because that is what our parents wished but neither of us really wanted to.

One day, I was walking around the rose gardens at Arthurton Manor when my father had come out into it to find me. "Florence I must speak with you. Can you please come with me to my study?" I followed him obediently, if my father asked for something you tended to just do it. I had never seen him lose his temper but I had heard it through the walls many times throughout the years and did not fancy being on the receiving end of that kind of tirade. Once inside his study, he closed the door and pulled out a chair for me. This was unusual and I suddenly felt uneasy; something was out of place and I wanted to know what. "You have known Matthew Faraday for many years now and I would imagine that it hasn't escaped your notice that our families are extremely close. You are promised to him Florence, you are to become engaged at eighteen and marry before you are twenty. It is set. There is nothing to be done about it and I don't want to hear of any objections." He stared at me for a few minutes waiting for some form of response but I didn't have any. All that kept ringing in my ears was 'We are promised to be married...I thought it only fair you knew too' - it circled my brain, repeating over and over until I almost shook my head to rid myself of it but instead, I nodded. I nodded again and stood.
"May I be excused?" I asked as politely as possible, wanting to be as far away from this room as was physically possible. In a slightly shocked but cordial tone my father replied,
"Yes, of course Florence."

I exited the room swiftly without looking back and walked quickly to the front door. I threw it open to see that the sunshine in the gardens had retreated only to be replaced by a torrential storm. Without a second thought I ran out into it, letting the rain sink into my skin. I turned my face towards the sky, water falling into my eyes and down the sides of my face. It felt good, freeing. To avoid being seen, I ran to the other side of the gardens, entering the maze. I knew it like the back of my hand, it hadn't changed since we were children and with all of the time that Matthew and I had spent in Arthurton Manor, it was easy to work it out. Once I reached the centre, I sat on the ground, leaning against the sharp branches of the bushes. The rain continued and I sat there, soaking it in. I knew I must return home at some point but minutes turned into hours and before I knew it, the sky had turned darker. Dusk was upon me.

"Florence...Florence? Where are you? You must return home." I could hear my mother calling for me. Footsteps crunched into the stones that surrounded the outside of the maze but I ignored them. If I came out now, I would be told off and that was something I always tried to avoid at all costs. I would leave when I heard them retreat. "I can't believe you told her like that." My mother muttered faintly, clearly some way away from where I sat, "We should have done it together, I could have explained..." She tailed off.
"She needed to know whichever way that was. Faraday told me that the boy had already told her." stated my father, not an ounce of understanding in his voice.
"Still, it is a poor way to discover that you have very little control over your own life." Mother replied, getting more and more distant. Their footsteps sounded further away so I stood, my dress feeling heavy and my hair bedraggled down my back.

I ran through the maze, following the pattern that I knew would take me out of the east path and quickest towards the servant's entrance to the house. It was relatively unused these days, with the new servant's quarters situated on the other side in the extended rooms. I opened the door and slipped through it, using the stairs to the upper rooms and entering the hallway via the secret doorway. Once in my room, I stripped my clothes of and put my bedclothes on. My maid would usually help but as everyone was out looking for me, I thought it best to dress myself. I was already extremely cold and keeping myself in the wet clothes unnecessarily wouldn't help. I climbed into my bed and snuggled down as far as possible.

My door opened with a bang. I wasn't sure how much time at passed but I did know that I had slept. My mouth tasted funny and my eyes felt heavy. I tried to move myself but found that my limbs were sluggish. "Florence...oh my. We need a doctor!" Mother yelled from my bedroom, coming to the side of my bed and feeling my head. Her eyes were wide with worry and her forehead furrowed. "We need to get you a Doctor...oh we need him here now." She fretted, taking my hand and holding it in both of hers. "Where were you? We looked for you. We looked for you for hours. How long have you been here? No don't answer anything." She said, stroking my matted hair. "Just rest." I lay back, eyes closed and listened to people talking around me. I felt tired, extremely tired yet when I fell asleep the Doctor gently woke me up.
"She's got the flu. Two of your servants had it last week, I looked at them myself. It's purely coincidence that she was out in the rain but she does need plenty of rest and to be left alone to recover. I shall leave a treatment with the nurse that she will need to take morning and night." The Doctor started to walk away, still talking to my mother.
"She will get better?" Mother asked hesitantly.
"She likely will but it may take some time. It has affected her quite badly." He replied before closing the door behind him.

My mother returned to my bed, once again picking my hand up and holding. "Come on Florence, this Isn't like you." She whispered, "You're one of the strong ones." She let go of my hand to lift the cup from my bedside, bringing it to my lips for me to take a sip. I did so dutifully, the water helping ease the pain in my dry, sore throat. I coughed slightly, my entire body moving with the effort. My eyes would only open a millimetre but I could see her through that. She looked fraught and tired.
"Go to bed mother, I will be fine. I shall call you if I need anything." I croaked at her. She looked surprised but quickly changed to a neutral expression.
"Okay my love. Get well and drink the water if you can manage." She reluctantly placed my hand back onto the covers and walked towards the door. "Please get well." She breathed before closing the door behind her.

The nurse bustled in and out throughout the night, on my mother's orders I suppose. She would come over to me, touch my forehead and chest before holding the cup to my mouth for a drink, wiping my forehead with a cold, damp cloth and then leaving again, closing the door behind her. By the morning I was even more exhausted than the day before. It would be weeks before I felt able to do anything again and by that time, my parents were long gone back to America leaving me, once again, alone with only the servants and my governess for company at Arthurton Manor.