From Eden

three

It had been a week since I talked to Jaden in the car, and I woke up in a good mood, all my sadness towards Chloe gone. Like the other times the feelings were triggered, I just soaked in the guilt for a couple days before it all disappeared again. I didn't need to call her...I just needed to wait it out.

That morning, I was craving coffee, so I went down to make some in the kitchen, feeling quite drowsy. I'd need to add some extra sugar. I grabbed a paper towel to clean the coffee maker, since whoever used it last didn't clean it out all the way. When I went to throw it away, I saw Brooke's letter from Abby sitting on top of the pile of trash. I was quite surprised she even kept it that long, but maybe she forgot about it until she cleaned her room. I'd have to ask her about it later.

My letter was still sitting upstairs on my desk, and with every day that passed, I wondered if I should respond and accept the job. There was exactly a week until the start date, June 12th. I would have to get back to them soon...which meant sitting in the discomfort of making a pros and cons list about taking it. That was the only way I felt that I could really decide. I sat against the counter and made the list mentally as my coffee brewed.

Cons: I would have to dance, which would bring back some old traumas, no doubt about it. I'd have to be face to face with Abby Lee Miller at some points, who definitely still hated me, no matter what her little gaslighting letters said. Working was also hard, and lately I had been been unmotivated, doing absolutely nothing every day. Lastly, I would have to wake up early and teach energetic children.

Pros: I would be able to make money.

Hmm...other pros. Pros. Pros, pros, pros.

Fuck.

I poured my coffee into a blue mug and took a long drink, then sighed. There were literally no pros to working for Abby besides earning money. However, was that one pro enough for me to be persuaded? I really needed money, and I was already technically hired if I agreed to it. I wouldn't have to waste my energy on an interview, or an application. Yes! Another pro!

After some sipping and mental debating, I came to the conclusion that I would have to contact some of the other girls to see if they got any mail from Abby, and if any of them were seriously considering taking the job. The question was, who could I even ask? I hadn't talked to any of them for years, because of the way Chloe and I ended. What if they all hated me, too? I assumed they had, since none of them ever tried to contact me. A rush of insecurity hit me. They always just went through Brooke or my mom to reach the Hylands.

I started going through the list of girls I knew anyway. Maddie Ziegler would never return to the ALDC, especially since she had so many other, better acting opportunities. She was most likely working on something as I stood there, drinking my sad coffee. Kenzie Ziegler was a singer now, with a lot of fans...I doubted she would stoop to Abby's level. Kendall Vertes and Nia Frazier...I could maybe call them. They both still danced, in college. However, they were also both good friends with Chloe, and Kendall was way closer to her when all the drama went down between us. I counted out Kalani Hilliker for the same reason as Kendall...she and Chloe were too close. Nia was the only girl I was left with. She was nice enough to at least pretend she wanted to talk to me, too.

Hesitantly, I put down my coffee and grabbed my phone, then opened Nia's contact. I swallowed and prepared myself to click the phone icon in the center of my screen; maybe she wouldn't even answer. I felt my stomach churn, and knew then that I was too anxious to make the call. I felt terrified, like I was about to call Jayvon or something. Shaking my sweaty hands out, I put down my phone and went out onto my back porch to roll a blunt.

- -

My phone rang in my ear. It was a wavy, trippy sound, and my brain was obsessed with it at that moment. Calling Nia now was no issue for me. I was so fucking baked that I felt like I could feel the colors of my backyard. The green of the grass felt soft and colorful against my toes, and the soil beneath it was squishy. I smiled to myself, and pretended I was giving it a massage with my feet. It would murmur in pleasure when I hit the good spot. When I looked up at the sky, the clouds bounced around happily, and the trees whispered my name when the wind blew. I moved my lips in return, hoping they would understand.