An Idiot's Guide to Line Editing

Chapter Two -- I started to begin

Are you constantly starting projects and not finishing them? Beginning and not ending? Do you have a stash of half-cooked works on your hard drive or in the cloud?

Yeah, me too! It's one of the reasons I like writing short fiction. But I'm not here to castigate you about that; I'm here to talk about something completely different. In this chapter we're going to discuss starting and beginning.

The concept here is nice and easy: the words 'start' and 'begin' are not your friends. Or, at least, not always. Let's use an example.

The balloon started to pop.

The obvious issue here is that 'started' is wasting your reader's time. You're just padding. The balloon will pop pretty much instantaneously, so don't bother telling us it started. It's already just bits of plastic in the president's hair.

Next:

Hamsa began to brush his teeth. Outside, the dinosaur started to laugh.

This isn't as clear-cut, and helps us grapple with the problem a bit more. Generally, you should remove 'start' or 'begin', so let's try that.

Hamsa brushed his teeth. Outside, the dinosaur laughed.

It actually hasn't lost anything, right? It's shorter, and therefore punchier, and the two events we described are still happening concurrently, which might be the reason you wrote it that way in the first place.

* * *

Think we're done? Not so fast! There are two valid reasons for keeping these little words in.

The first is that the action never gets finished (like our manuscripts. Ouch). In this case, you can legitimately use 'start', because that's all that happened, and removing the word changes the sentence.

Rheese began to turn the wheel, but the hamster kicked him away.

It's still not great, though. One of the reasons that we don't like these words is that they aren't very exciting. Maybe there's a better way.

Rheese grabbed the wheel, but the hamster kicked him away.

Here we replaced the 'began' and with the actual action he completed before the dastardly hamster put the boot in. Oh, and don't feel too bad for Rheese: he's actually going to spin poor Mr Whisker's wheel without his permission.

The second case is very similar, and that's when the action won't be finished for a long time.

Nadia picked up her box of termite thoughts and began the long slide home.

In this case, yes, she'll be sliding for some time. She might stop and collect some more thoughts from termites, or she might just keep going. Again, though; it's pretty weak, right? Ignoring the fact that 'began the long X home' is a cliché, can we turn this into an action that she completes?

Nadia picked up her box of termite thoughts, sat on the homeward slide, and pushed off.

We did, but it's not clear that this one is better. Maybe you can improve it! Suggestions in the comments.

* * *

So, as before, here are your words to search for.

Begin, began, begins.

Start, started.

Commence, commenced.

Initiate, initiated.

And that's a wrap. Let me know how you get on in the comments!