The Evil Family

duo

As you probably guessed, my family was part of the Satanic Church. I wanted to tell Ethan this so I would hide nothing from him. The thing was that I knew that he could never accept or understand this. People thought that Satanists were evil. They thought that we killed small babies and drank blood. As a Satanist child, they thought that I would be abused in the worse possible ways. Hollywood has made us evil and dangerous. This was not the case. I was never abused or treated badly. I lived in a good loving home with parents that loved me. Our morality and ethics were just as good as any God-fearing person. Despite this, I knew that Ethan or anyone else in the village would never understand this. My parents were right. I had to keep this part of my life a secret.

The next day, the school went as it usually went. The students and teachers were nice and friendly. They accepted me as part of the group and this was such a nice feeling. I was slowly making friends and being at school was something that I liked. I knew that I was pretending to be a Catholic. This was to protect me. I tried to think that I was not deceiving them, but rather they did not need to know everything about me. They would never hear me admit that I was a Catholic. It would be something that they assumed. I knew that things were going very well for me at the school and I did not want to ruin this.

Ethan was my best friend, despite that he was a boy. We walked home every day. He would always ask me if he could visit me, and I would make an excuse. One day he asked me if I wanted to come with him to the Church. This is the last place that I wanted to be but I agreed that we could go there. It was a strange experience. Ethan lit a candle and was kneeling as he said a prayer for his grandmother, who was dead. I could see Ethan kneeling as he was staring at the candle and his lips were moving. To be honest, it was a bit confusing. Did he think that his prayers would help his grandmother get to heaven or was he trying to speak with her? It seemed as if it was a waste of time. Still, it seemed to be important for him.

"Why don't you pray?" he asked when he was done
"I did earlier. I... I did not want to pray too much in one day. He could think I was bugging him"
" You are so funny," he laughed, "I am also an altar boy here. You know a girl can also be an altar server. Why don't you do that?"
"I do not know. I never thought about it. I am happy enough just sitting where I usually do. I think it's good that you are an altar boy and you do it so well"
"Your choice," he answered and suddenly had a serious look on his face, "There is something I wanted to talk about. You do not want me to visit your house. I always get the impression that you are hiding something from me. My mother said maybe your family still have moving boxes all over the place or maybe you are poor. I honestly do not care. You are my friend and it's just something that friends do. They visit each other."

Maybe Ethan was right. Friends do visit each other. Maybe if we were in the kitchen, then no harm would be done. I knew that it was important for him. His family allowed me to come anytime and visit him. They were so kind and nice. In a way, I wanted to show him that my family were the same. My parents would like Ethan and be happy that I had a friend. He would also see that we were not poor. I did not want people to think that we were poor. It's not because that I had anything against poor people, it's just I did not want to deceive people any more than I already did. Ethan was happy when I told him that we could hang out at my home the next day.

The next day came all too soon and it did not go well. We had religion again and this time I could not keep quiet. Father Sullivan was talking about how God wanted us to be his friend and how nice and a good father he was. I blurted out that this could not be true. If God really cared for us, he would not be so distant and invisible. When we prayed to him, he would never answer. It was a one-way conversation. He expected us to believe that he was there... somewhere. God wanted us to have faith and worship him. God wanted us to think we were sinners and needed his forgiveness. This meant he was happy that we lived a life of guilt and living with a bad conscience. If God wanted to be our friend, then why did he expect so much of us and be so invisible? If he was so caring and kind as Father Sullivan said, then why would he allow his own son to die on the cross?